Dinner is being cooked in your home. As soon as you walk in you smell it, and immediately you know that it is your favorite. So what do you do? You indulge, maybe slightly stuffing yourself but hey, it’s your favorite. After dinner you check out the freezer, and what do you find? Ice cream. Yum. You take an average size scoop, go sit on the couch, and enjoy some Netflix while you are eating it. It’s just about time to go to bed so you go up to you room after your satisfying night.
When you get to your room’¦ immediately the mood changes. You glance at the mirror and notice your pants are a little tighter than they were when you first bought them. And when you look at your shirt it doesn’t seem to fit as loose as you pictured it did in your head. Gradually the lies begin to flood in. You’re fat. You’re ugly. No one will love you.
As they come, it becomes harder to fight them. You slowly begin to believe them and entertaining the idea of them being truth. You think back to this afternoon and the food you ate. Did you really need to eat THAT? Did you really need to eat that MUCH? Did you really need to eat at all?
You are unhappy with your body. You want it to change, if only you were a little thinner or your legs were a little smaller’¦then you would be happy. You realize if you want to see a change you have to make one, you brainstorm some ideas. You could wake up early before school and go to the gym, eat 3 carrots for breakfast, skip lunch, go to the gym again after school, and then eat dinner’¦ but if you aren’t seeing results maybe you should cut back on dinner. But then your parents will notice’¦ and then an awful thought forces its way into your mind. You could make yourself puke after.
You begin to try it and once you start you can’t stop. You desperately just want to feel good about yourself, to have the body of your dreams’¦but you don’t feel like you are getting any closer and you so badly just want to enjoy your favorite meal again without the guilt of feeling like you messed up. You consider stopping and going back to your normal routine but you feel stuck, caught in this overwhelming darkness of never being good enough. You feel so alone.
Here at RemedyLIVE we know the danger of feeling alone. We know the pain of not feeling good enough and the fear of being stuck. But we have also found hope, freedom, and the realized the importance of sharing your struggle with a trusted adult. We care about you and want to help you find the freedom we have. Chat with us today!