Sex is expected to be part of a dating relationship in today’s culture. However, when you add sex to a dating, not covenant relationship, you convey that the arrangement is nothing more than flesh focussed- that commitment isn’t necessary, and that sex is not worth waiting for. If someone will have sex during dating what’s to say they won’t have sex with whomever they want moving forward, even if they are in a relationship. It’s a self satisfying act.
Additionally, what’s happening in the person’s heart? Sex is intimate and was created by God as a submission to another person in a covenant relationship. It requires humility and surrender. When you give yourself away sexually outside marriage, you are giving part of yourself away with no strings attached- part of you is now gone forever, to be trampled by the person you had sex with outside of marriage.
If you’re struggling with this issue and need someone to talk to please click the ‘chat with a SoulMedic” button at the top of the page. By keeping your issue a secret you are giving it power to destroy your life while it spreads as a cancer into your thoughts, actions, and relationships. Isolation is the worst way to live a full life, because it convinces a person that no one needs to know, that no one really understands, and ultimately, that no one really cares. That’s not true! Life on life community is the best way for a person to flourish in their understanding of self, others and God. However, when we spend all our energies protecting our secret from the world this mindset can create an independence stronghold that feels true but is a lie really killing you from the inside out.