A bad break up can cause a lot of damage in a person’s life. The emotional toll skews reality, magnifies loneliness, and causes a person to feel like there’s no hope of ever being happy again. And yet- the truth is the exact opposite!
If you’ve gone through a break up the most important decision you can make after it’s over is to not enter another relationship to make you feel better. Often times “the rebound” can cause more pain than the original relationship. Instead, take time to ask yourself why the relationship broke down in the first place. What did the person you were dating do to damage the relationship? Also, what part did you play in the relationship breaking down? Taking time to figure out the incompatibilities or unhealthy ingredients help you not to repeat this in relationships to come.
Going through a break up is hard but it can also be an incredible opportunity to learn more about yourself and what it is you truly want in life. People don’t complete us – only God can do that. But it’s even more important that we know that dating and relationships are only as successful as how we feel about ourselves. If we feel insecure, needy, or don’t value ourselves enough to wait for God’s person, we can find ourselves being hurt over and over again. But if we strive for wholeness and find our identity in who God made us, then every relationship we have doesn’t need to feel like it’s all or nothing. The opposite of breaking up is staying complete in who you are – without a relationship.
If you’re struggling with this issue and need someone to talk to please click the ‘chat with a SoulMedic” button at the top of the page. By keeping your issue a secret you are giving it power to destroy your life while it spreads as a cancer into your thoughts, actions, and relationships. Isolation is the worst way to live a full life, because it convinces a person that no one needs to know, that no one really understands, and ultimately, that no one really cares. That’s not true! Life on life community is the best way for a person to flourish in their understanding of self, others and God. However, when we spend all our energies protecting our secret from the world this mindset can create an independence stronghold that feels true but is a lie really killing you from the inside out.