3 Critical Ways to Thrive During The Worst Month of the Year And Find Joy
The buzz of the holiday season is over, and the new car smell of 2022 is beginning to wear off. Yup, it's February.
The.
Hardest.
Month.
The days are still too short, the cold weather has worn out its welcome, and the majestic beauty of gently falling snow has been traded in for ugly brown slush. Spring feels so far away. We just need warmer temperatures, fewer layers, and some serious sunshine. You might not know it, but sunlight really does impact our overall mood and mental health. It's a source of vitamin D, boosts serotonin levels, and can even positively affect blood pressure. Who knew?
So naturally, with its short days and odd spelling, February can create fits for our mental health. It can be as simple as feeling just kind of blah, sluggish, and cranky. But it might be as severe as Seasonal Affective Disorder. a diagnosed state of depression that can be induced during the rough winter months.
February has the unique ability to drain us physically and emotionally. And in many ways, Covid has made matters worse–keeping us inside and isolated. Neither of which ends well for our mental health.
The solution is to amplify and increase our intake of joy.
Our brains are actually designed to run on joy like a rechargeable battery. In fact, according to clinical psychologist Jim Wilder, "Our brains desire joy more than any other thing." But to be clear, joy is not necessarily happiness. It doesn't instantaneously remove pain, and it's not strictly an emotion. It is so much more.
Joy is relational. It helps me navigate challenging times. It keeps us connected to our supportive community when life throws us down in the mud. Joy gives us the strength we need to pick ourselves up and keep moving forward–even in the midst of pain. Therefore, making it through the rough edges of February requires increasing the amount of joy we experience daily. But you can't just choose to have joy. You can't just suddenly do better or automatically begin to think differently.
Instead, let's start with three simple things you can do to increase your joy and help you thrive through the worst month of the year.
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1. Find A Face
If you know your Bible, you might remember an ancient Hebrew priestly blessing. It's found in an Old Testament book called Numbers. It goes like this.
"The Lord bless you and keep you; The Lord make his face shine on you and be gracious to you; The Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace." (Numbers 6:22-27).
Being blessed by God was having his face (figuratively speaking) look at you in favor of who you are and how you live. God’s desire is for his people to live in the light of his favor. Such blessing is found in his face.
The Nation of Israel was on to something. But it’s more scientific than the ancient world thought. The right side of our brains searches throughout the day for a face–people who are happy to be with us. The Jewish people knew that the source of their greatest joy came from the face of God–someone who was delighted to be with them. Our brains are literally looking for a face to find joy. But since joy is relational, the face needs to be face-to-face. No screens.
When I first read about this idea, I was pretty skeptical. And I imagine you are as well. However, then I thought about how my wife looks at me or the joy I feel when I look at my kids. I remember watching them sleep when they were just infants and the overwhelming joy I felt. So here is what you're going to do. Find a person you like being around and get real face time in. Don't make it weird. But spend some time just looking at each other. You will feel your joy tank begin to fill. I know it sounds strange. But try it, I promise it actually works.
2. Rediscover Gratitude
It's easy to lack joy when it's cold, dark, and depressing outside. When we spend more time inside without fresh air and sunshine, it's easier for our minds to drift into unhealthy places. Being low on joy makes it easier to be down on everything. Expressing gratitude daily creates a shift in our thinking that will result in greater levels of joy. But discovering joy needs to become a right-brained activity. We cannot be limited to the left-brained activity of just using our words. If we just use words, we are only using half our minds and limiting the amount of joy available.
I have this incredible image from my past that always brings me tremendous joy and peace no matter the situation. A few years ago, we lived in the suburbs of Los Angeles. For more than a year, I spent most of my mornings running through the city of Burbank. The warm air, the beautiful trees, busy streets on one side, and majestic mountains on the other. It's a picture I will never forget. You might say it's my happy place.
Going back to that place in my mind creates gratitude because of what that moment means to me. The result is an overflowing of joy. So when you're sitting inside, keeping warm and missing the sunshine, discover your own happy place of gratitude. Make a list of them and visit them frequently. The joy you discover from those moments will help sustain you through the harsh winter months.
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3. Prioritize Relationships
We are built for joy and made for joy-filled relationships. Take a minute and think about the people you love to be around. Perhaps it's family, friends, even co-workers. Put yourself at a table enjoying a meal together. Are you telling great stories and laughing–I mean really laughing, so hard you cry? This is the kind of joy that overflows from being in community with others. It's essential.
When you feel like you belong, you can handle whatever the world throws at you. It's a confidence to be yourself and share your heart without judgment or recourse.
But when we don't have relationships we can rely on, we look to artificial, non-relational sources for joy. This is where addiction can happen. We look to something artificial to remove the pain. Our brain wants joy. If it can't find it the right way, it will substitute for it the wrong way.
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Plug The Leaks
February is sneaky. It has a way of creeping on us when we aren't looking. And it can have a noticeable impact on our mental health. We jump from the joy of the holidays and the New Year and right into a more depressive mid-winter. But if you pay attention and act with some intention to find some faces, to practice gratitude by regularly visiting your happy place, and taking the time to invest in relationships, you can get out of survival mode into a mode of revival–a revival of joy. Find where and why you have joy lacking and emphasize those areas to plug the holes. Fill up on joy, and don’t let it leak.
