4 Ways to Avoid Ignoring The Tragic Reality of Suicide
It’s a single moment in my life that I’ll never forget. You might even say one of those defining moments. I had recently graduated from college. Ok, I barely graduated. I wasn’t exactly set up for success and ready to take on the world and make my first million by the time I was thirty. Although I bragged that was my plan. My plan didn’t work. Instead, I was living a somewhat destructive lifestyle—depressed, lonely, with no direction, and what seemed like very little hope for a future.
I can recall so many late nights after work looking out from my apartment balcony, wondering if I would survive the fall.
Very few people know that about me. I was embarrassed and ashamed to admit it. I felt that exposing such a feeling made me weak and feeble. I was a young college grad given every advantage to succeed and live the life I could create for myself. What would my parents think? They tried so hard to raise me. I had a lavish childhood—rarely in want. How could I be so selfish to think that my life is anything but ideal in every way?
Except it wasn’t. But I was convinced that I could handle this feeling on my own. I could shake it, beat it, and make myself happy. I never told anyone that I wondered, thought about, contemplated methods, or considered suicide.
It’s a topic we don’t like to talk about. The word is hard to say out loud. It’s compounded with fear and shame. It can even carry religious uncertainty for some. We hope that the tragedy lurking around the corner won’t become a reality if we don't talk about it. Until the tragedy becomes reality.
Did you know that suicide is a leading cause of death in the United States and the second leading cause of death among kids 10-17 years old? Hopelessness, depression, anxiety, and loneliness often lead to suicidal ideation, and suicide affects millions each year. None of us are immune. It’s not a matter of mental strength or intestinal fortitude. There is no inoculation or drug that makes us impenetrable to the mental struggles that can lead to suicidal ideation.
Take a moment and digest these statistics. According to NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Health):
79% of all people who die by suicide are male.
Although more women than men attempt suicide, men are 4x more likely to die by suicide.
Suicide is the 3rd leading cause of death among people aged 15-24 in the U.S.
Suicide is the 12th leading cause of death overall in the U.S.
46% of people who die by suicide had a diagnosed mental health condition - but research shows that 90% may have experienced symptoms of a mental health condition.
Suicide is a very real tragedy in our world. So why don’t we talk about it? Why, instead, do we ignore it and just hope it’s not true? Because it’s awkward. It’s sometimes scary. “What if I mention suicide to someone struggling, but they weren’t really thinking about suicide? Were they just depressed and feeling down? But now that I mentioned it did I put the idea in their head? So maybe I shouldn’t say anything at all.” Well, that’s not how it works. Unless you have some strange Jedi mind trick powers, asking them if they are thinking about suicide is not like giving them an idea they have never considered. What it does, however, is show that person just how much you care about them.
All of September is National Suicide Prevention and Awareness Month. What does that mean? It’s simple. We want you to focus on four things all month long. And don’t worry, we are here to help along the way.
1. Embrace the Awkward
Rip off the band-aid, and have that courageous conversation. Don’t be afraid to say the word suicide. Don’t tiptoe around a conversation that just may need to happen.
2. Pay Attention
It’s easy to get wrapped up in our lives, to-do lists, and everyday demands. Look up once in a while and find ways to love the people in your life. The smallest of gestures can make a mountain of difference.
3. Listen Without Judgment
We have a phrase we use a lot at RemedyLIVE—friend up. It means whether you or someone you know is struggling with their mental health having a strong community around you to support you is critical. You might be the support, or you may need the support. Heck, be both.
4. Play The Long Game
Addressing depression and suicidal ideation is always a rough but short season in life. For some, it’s years of struggle and a constant plague. Walk the journey together.
It might not be easy, but it is simple and necessary. Start with saying the word, embracing the conversation, and removing the fear. Looking back, I wish I had. I might have found hope and healing sooner.
