4 Ways to Thrive This Holiday Season
The weather is a little colder, and the year is quickly coming to a close. Seriously, it’s hard to believe it’s already December. I know everyone says stuff like that, but it truly feels like 2022 just got going, and we are looking at 2023 on the horizon.
But as always, the end of the year means the beginning of the holiday season. The songs, the commercials, and the Hallmark holiday movies all remind us that this season is intended to be full of magic and wonder. Yet, for so many of us, all of that wonder gets lost in a sea of depression, anxiety, financial stress, family obligations, and doing life at a pace that is simply not sustainable.
And it catches up with us quickly.
The endless demands for buying yet another gift for an office party.
That family member who demands to see you on Christmas no matter the circumstance.
The fear that your gifts will leave the kids wanting.
The endless online searches for the perfect gift.
The cold weather.
More food to make than you have time for.
Is reading this stressing you out? I’m getting anxious just writing it.
So what do you do? Well, given the circumstances, you’re likely going everything you can to survive—power through until the new year. You can do it! Right? Maybe?
But what if you could do more than just survive? What if you could thrive? What if you felt rested and ready to take on the new year after the holidays? It’s possible. Seriously it is.
Set Boundaries
Can we be honest for a minute? Families can be demanding even without the holidays. Add in the stress of oversized expectations, grandma’s death grip on tradition, and the added time and expense of travel—it can all be enough to make the best time of year your worst nightmare. The mere thought of it all can drop you smack in the middle of an anxiety attack.
We are going to say a word together. Boundaries. It’s a word my family and I had to learn the hard way. Boundaries are not about being cold, distant, or rude to the family. It’s not about ignoring or stubbornly trying to get your way. Boundaries are about setting reasonable expectations for yourself and your family. They are about living in the incredibly healthy tension between grace and truth.
Setting boundaries is knowing when to say yes and when to say no. But even more than that. They are about what and who you are choosing to spend time with. It’s about you defining the rules of how you want to be treated. We set boundaries when we begin new relationships. However, when it comes to our families, we can become so comfortable that we lose sight of those important boundaries, often causing more harm than we realize.
Click Here to Learn More About Setting Healthy Boundaries
Set Expectations
Part of setting boundaries is setting expectations.
When my wife and I were young and brand new parents, our daughter was the first grandbaby on her side of the family. As a result, the expectation was that we attend every Christmas party, celebration, get-together, and meet and greet. For more than two weeks, we were on the go to somebody’s something nearly every day of the week. The expectation—largely from her family—was that we were at everything because everyone wanted to meet the family's newest member.
We, of course, obliged and delivered. We went above and beyond what the family had asked. The result was nothing short of exhaustion—all three of us. We vowed never to let that happen again. Well, until the following year.
We had set the wrong expectations, and it was starting to ruin the holidays.
Of course, you might want to see all of your family, and of course, you want to make mom, dad, and the grandparents happy. After all, it's family, and it’s the holidays. But we all seem to forget that even amid the Christmas chaos, we cannot neglect taking care of ourselves. And that includes physical and mental health.
You might not believe this, but you are allowed to say no. But I get it; sometimes, that’s easier said than done. But you are also allowed to make compromises. Talk with family about what is probable, not just possible. Be honest with yourself. In the excitement of it all, you might feel like you can do all things—that is, until you are literally doing all things. That’s when regret, frustration, anxiety, and even depression can set in.
Click Here to Learn More About Setting Realistic Expectations During the Holidays
Set Aside Time For Yourself
How many cookies are you baking for the neighbors? How many White Elephant gifts do you need to buy? How many stores have you suffered through to find that perfect gift? How much financial gymnastics did you need to do to afford all the gifts and leave some left over to give to local charities or churches? One last question: what happens to your overall attitude after just a few weeks of giving endlessly? It’s draining.
Yes, we talk about the holiday season as a time of selfless giving and thinking of others. But your capacity to give should never come at the expense of your own mental health care.
By all means, give. But be sure to set time aside for yourself. Even if that means after the Christmas season is over and the New Year has begun. Schedule some time to be you, do something you love, go for a day of solitude, anything that restores you back to balance.
Set Aside Time To Recover
Sometimes, knowing when it ends can make all the difference, no matter how difficult something is. I love to run. If I plan to run five miles, I can pick up the pace through the final mile and almost sprint the last hundred yards because I can see the finish line—and then I can rest. I can stretch, relax, sit down and properly recover. I did the work, and now I can enjoy the rest.
The same can be true of the holidays.
Set the pace that you know you can run. Set the boundaries and reasonable expectations, take care of yourself, and if you have to, sprint to the end, knowing you can rest—you’ve earned it. You’ll feel energized, happy, accomplished, and ready for what’s next. Rather than drained, depressed, and dreading next year.
