5 Ways to Gather Important Data To Reduce and Remove Negative Thinking
The feelings associated with mental health struggles—things like anxiety, depression, loneliness, etc.—are something we all deal with at one time or another. And I think it’s safe to assume we would much rather experience a greater degree of the opposite—happiness, joy, and contentment. But when toxic thinking haunts us day in and day out, a mind at peace with joy and contentment seems drastically out of reach. However, Dr. Caroline Leaf, in her recent book, Cleaning Up Your Mental Mess: 5 Simple, Scientifically Proven Steps to Reduce Anxiety, Stress, and Toxic Thinking, suggests that removing toxic thinking and the emotions associated with it begins with acknowledging the negative thinking and learning some key mind management tools help to train our brains to navigate better the ups and downs of life creating a greater sense of control and therefore creating a greater sense of hope. In other words, mastering the tools necessary for a healthier mind.
To help explain what Dr. Leaf is getting at and the steps she suggests, let’s first look at how we often respond to our emotions. Think for a moment about your typical reaction to frustration, disappointment, or hurt. When was the last time you were irritable or even angry, seemingly for no good reason? Life’s ups and downs leave no shortage of emotional baggage. We may know how we feel, but far too often, we are not entirely sure why. Misunderstanding emotions can easily put us on a path that ends in toxic thinking. Perhaps you haven’t been taught how to properly and productively feel and process emotion, allowing the worst of your emotions to control how you think and behave.
Emotions are information. Useful information. Here are five steps to best utilize that information.
Gather the Data
Good mind management that leads to a more healthy mind begins with the ability to gather information on your emotions in the moment. My wife and I teach our kids to do this through the constant reminder to stop and take an extra ten seconds and think. This allows just enough time to think about what they are feeling and change from reacting and lashing out at friends or family members to a healthy expression of feelings.
To be fair, the lesson often comes after the fact. But allowing the necessary time for your brain to gather information and process it into correct action is not about suppressing or denying feelings. Every emotion we experience is valuable—even reasonable. But changing our brains, becoming more resilient, and creating a healthier mind for ourselves begins with embracing our feelings but not allowing them to control our actions.
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Analyze The Data
Once you have organized and recognized your emotions and your mind is clear enough to think straight, start to ask yourself what caused you to feel the way you do. But remember, often, the thing is not the thing. So don’t jump to conclusions. Instead, dig deep to find the hidden meaning behind the emotion.
Let me give you an example. You arrive home after a long day at work. You’re happy to be home, but everyone in your family is getting on your nerves. You start finding things to fight about, only to realize that your frustration was not about the family but about work. But you can’t correctly process those frustrations and feelings until you have appropriately identified the origin. Getting to that point requires intentional reflection—even if it occurs after the fact. Thinking and reflecting on how you got it wrong will train your brain to get it right in the future.
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Record The Data
Now some of you read “journal” and get excited at the prospect of spending time in a journal. But if you did, chances are, you’re already doing it—and that’s great. Keep going. The rest of you are tempted to skip to the next one because you aren’t the journaling type. However, keep reading because this is more important than you realize.
In my twelve years as an educator, we often practiced mastery learning in the classroom. Here is how it works. Whether it’s a test, quiz, or homework, the student’s work is graded and returned. But the lesson doesn’t end there. The requirement is to review, reflect, and correct the assignment. The student then resubmits the assignment for grading again. The process repeats until every answer is correct. Mastery learning does a much better job of solidifying the information in the student’s mind. The same is true of our emotions and how we master the art of mind management that leads to better mental health.
If it helps, forget the word journal. Just write it down. Use a piece of paper, your phone, tablet, or computer--whatever is easiest--to organize your thoughts and get them from your brain into words. It’s simple but incredibly effective in releasing the emotional impact, provides a space for brutal honesty, and helps the reality of your emotions come to life.
Click Here to Learn How to Make a Mood Journal
Study The Data
While writing it down is good, what makes it even better is sharing those thoughts with someone you trust. Sharing your thoughts, emotions, and struggles is beneficial for a couple of reasons. First, we were never designed or meant to go through life alone and isolated in our thoughts. Sharing a bit of ourselves helps to connect us to other people, making the journey a little easier. Second, talking to someone else gives you a broader perspective on what you dealing with and feeling.
Click Here to Learn About the Importance of Sharing Stories
Applying What You’ve Learned
All your work up to this point should, over time, result in changed behavior. It takes time, attention, and practice—but applying what you have learned from observing, reflecting, writing, and reanalyzing your emotions will provide you the opportunity to create the change you desire and the mental health you deserve.
