How To Start Transforming Your Thoughts and Behaviors
If you’re like most people, there are days that you wish you could switch your attitude and behavior like a switch. Quickly identify what’s not right and make an instant adjustment. In fact, if you’re a parent, I can guarantee you wish that of your kids. How often have you told your kids to stop it, quit crying, make the right decisions, and behave properly? Just imagine how much easier life would be. Okay, let’s quit dreaming.
But what if it was possible to switch up your thoughts and behaviors, like changing an outfit? Maybe it’s not that easy, and no, despite our best wishes, there is no magic guide to help your kids automatically make the right decisions and have the right attitude. That’s just the grind of parenting. But rest assured, there is one thing you can do to transform thoughts and behaviors. Not overnight, but over time—with practice—it is possible.
Learn to Dance
My oldest daughter danced ballet for more than a decade. During that time, I watched her be challenged, succeed, fail, and overall develop into a beautiful dancer. During that time, never once did I ever question her ability to perfect the movements with time and practice. But what always blew my mind was how quickly she could train (or in some cases retrain) her brain to move in the necessary sequence—even when a dance would change choreography just moments before they would take the stage.
She told me that to nail each move precisely to perfection and in time, she had to focus all her energy while making it look effortless. The secret, she told me, was using rehearsal in the best way possible. That meant making mistakes, taking it slow, and paying attention to every detail, no matter how small.
What is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)?
Imagine your mind as a dance floor where your thoughts and feelings try to be perfect. Sometimes, we lose focus, miss a step, and allow negative thoughts to sneak in, leading to uncomfortable feelings or behaviors that don't feel right. CBT is like having a dance coach for your mind. It's a way of learning to groove with your thoughts and feelings more harmoniously and positively.
In dance, the more you rehearse, the more natural the moves feel. In CBT, as you learn to identify your patterns of thinking, the more you practice, the more natural a new way of thinking will feel. Initially, these thoughts can be a bit wobbly, like "I'm not good enough" or "Everything always goes wrong.” CBT teaches you to question those thoughts. You ask yourself, "Is this really true? Is there proof for it?" It's like fact-checking the lyrics of a song before you start humming along. So, if the thought was "I'm not good enough," you might change it to "I'm still learning and improving.”
Practice your new thoughts. This can lead to changes in your actions and feelings. If you used to avoid situations because of negative thoughts, now you might take them on confidently. As you keep practicing, your feelings become more positive, and your dance with life becomes smoother and more enjoyable.
Ok, I made this sound fun, but does it work?
Evidence-Based: CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) isn't just some fancy dance; it's backed by science. Research shows it's effective for managing various challenges, from anxiety and depression to stress and relationship issues.
Practical Skills: CBT isn't about analyzing your entire life story—it's about giving you practical skills to deal with everyday situations. It's like having a toolkit of dance moves to handle whatever life throws your way.
Collaborative: Like a dance teacher guides you, a CBT therapist is your guide. You work together to figure out your unique dance steps and practice them until they become second nature.
So, think of CBT as your dance lessons for the mind. It helps you change those old, not-so-great dance moves into new, positive ones that make you feel confident, happy, and ready to conquer the dance floor of life.
