Why Embracing Imperfections Should Be Part of Your Healing Journey
There isn’t a person on this planet who is perfect. Every one of us has imperfections. Yet many of us prefer—even strive—to live behind a filter. We see the imperfect as something to be ashamed or disposed of—when instead, it should be part of your healing journey.
Occasionally, my daughter and I like to embark on reading races. We book a together and see who can finish first. It’s a great way for her and me to connect, talk about great stories, and earn bragging rights for those who can read faster. Just this past week, we finished up Gathering Blue by Lois Lowery. The book tells the story of a young girl born with a lame leg in a post-apocalyptic village that despises physical or mental irregularities. After her mother dies, she is left without her only protection from the rest of the village, taking her to the field and disposing of her.
She makes a way for herself and, in the process, discovers another village filled with people who have been discarded and abandoned. A place that is more loving and accepting—one that sees beauty beyond the imperfect. She learns the valuable lesson along the way that her imperfections were not a hindrance but a deeply critical part of her story. Rather than escape to a place that would accept her as she is, she decides that she is strong enough to stay and be a light to help those around her see things differently—the light and beauty of imperfections and the stories they tell.
Embracing the Imperfections and the Art of Kintsugi
I found it incredibly ironic that, at the same time, I stumbled upon the ancient art of Kintsugi. It is the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery by mending the broken areas with urushi lacquer dusted or mixed with powdered gold, silver, or platinum. But it’s also a philosophy or principle that treats breakage and repair as part of the history of an object rather than something to disguise or dispose of. Shattered pottery is not discarded in the delicate art of kintsugi; instead, it is meticulously repaired with lacquer infused with precious metals.
This ancient Japanese practice transforms broken pieces into beautiful works of art, embracing the cracks and imperfections. Beyond its aesthetic appeal, kintsugi holds some profound lessons that resonate deeply in mental health and our pursuit of mental wellness.
There is Beauty in the Imperfect
Like that delicate piece of pottery, our mental health can be fragile. In a society that often values perfection, acknowledging our mental health struggles can be challenging. Most of us use social media as a regular part of our daily lives and habits, yet we too easily forget that the online world paints a veiled picture of reality. We want to smooth away the wrinkles, wash out the gray, and look as young as possible for as long as possible.
Yet, the Kintsugi principle encourages us to see imperfections not as weaknesses but as integral parts of our unique stories. Each crack, a testament to our challenges, contributes to our character's richness. When we embrace your story, you can learn to embrace how it has shaped you and then allow you to own your future.
From the Imperfect to Resilience and Healing
Just as Kintsugi repairs require patience and skill, the journey to mental wellness is a process that demands resilience and perhaps even more patience. Mental health is not a linear path; it's a journey marked by ups and downs. The Kintsugi metaphor reminds us to recognize that healing is transformative and that, like the repaired pottery, we emerge stronger and more resilient through our experiences.
When we start pushing toward healing, trying to forget the past is often tempting. You might rather tuck it away, hoping to move on without the painful memories. But this ancient practice of persevering and revering broken pottery into something new should remind you just how important your past is to your future.
The Imperfections Reminds You That Your Story Matters
Simply put: No matter what you have been through in the past, your story matters for your future. In the art of Kintsugi, the repaired cracks are intentionally visible, creating a visual narrative of the object's history. Similarly, personal growth and transformation in mental health are visible and worth celebrating. Our struggles become a part of our unique narrative, showcasing the strength and courage it takes to overcome adversity.
While we are fortunate not to be living in a crazy dystopia where imperfect people are tossed out as useless like trash, we do spend a lot of time and energy hiding what is broken for fear of judgment and shame. Honestly, it’s really not all that much of a difference.
Conversely, the kintsugi principle is an invitation to embrace imperfections, celebrate resilience, and recognize the beauty that emerges from the healing journey. Like the art of kintsugi, our mental health journeys can become stories of strength, transformation, and the profound beauty of embracing our unique selves.
