Mental Wellness and Adolescents: The Truth About Surviving the Challenges
The changes youth experience in their brains during the teenage years are wildly confusing (for all of us) but also incredibly important. If you’re a parent, teacher, counselor, or coach of teens, you know the tumultuous times that begin around 12 or 13 years old. Why do they make such terrible decisions? Why do they think they are invincible? Why is identity such an issue? I have spoken to countless parents–including my own experience–about the once parent-attached, loving child, suddenly turned distant and rebellious. Yes, a particular joy comes from our kids beginning to get older, more responsible, and even more independent. But let’s be clear and totally honest; it is also entirely perplexing and terrifying trying to understand how to navigate these unfamiliar waters.
If we are not careful, we will misunderstand the next generation and create a divide between the adult world and the adolescent one. We tend to believe that our youth are just hormonal, immature, lazy, out of control, and totally unfocused. Even though this might be true at times, we can't label them universally in such a way.
The truth is the time between the ages of 12 and approximately 24 (commonly known as adolescence) is incredibly vital in their development into adulthood. According to Dr. Daniel Siegel,
“How we navigate the adolescent years has a direct impact on how we’ll live the rest of our lives…offering new insights and innovations that naturally emerge from the push back against the status quo and from the energy of the teen years.”
The teenage brain is literally rewiring itself from childhood into adulthood. But as these changes occur, they can create unique and often challenging behaviors. The almost sudden desire to detach from parents, the desire to seek high-risk activities, the importance of social connection, the seemingly constant rollercoaster of emotions, and the pushback of authority. These can be perceived as negative and inconvenient, but they can also result in incredible benefits. And all of it is tied to their mental health.
In his book, Brainstorm: The Power and Purpose of the Teenage Brain, Dr. Siegel lays out four key aspects to the developing teenage mind that are critical to their adulthood success and their overall mental health as their minds mature. Each of which, if fostered properly, can provide significant benefits to the development of the adolescent mind. But on the flip side, it can also isolate them, create unhealthy behaviors, and put them at greater risk for mental health issues.
A Drive for Originality
The teen brain is intentionally wired and designed to pursue new things and seek high levels of reward. This is the part of a youth’s mind that seeks adventure, a thrill, and the passionate pursuit of a cause. It is what gives adults the joy of watching our students live in an undignified pursuit of their best life. However, left unchecked, this drive can mask the risk of certain behaviors or lack the foresight for impending consequences.
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Have you ever wondered why, no matter how many times you explained the dangers of drugs and alcohol, your teen still made some poor decisions and came home drunk? The answer is quite simple, really. They have an increased drive for impulsive actions without the decision-making abilities to see why what they are about to do is a really bad idea.
Fear of Missing Out
I’ve been guilty of it, and I am sure any adult reading this has been as well. You hear the idea of the fear of missing out (or FOMO), and you laughed or perhaps rolled your eyes. But inside the teenage mind, the connection between one’s peers is vastly more significant than you might think. It has a lot to do with how they learn to live independently–no longer attached to parents. They have a deep-seated need to engage socially, be connected, and create new friendships.
But it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out how this can go sideways–and quick. Consider the power of peer pressure and social media. For our youth, their preferred social media platforms operate as more than a simple way of keeping in touch with friends and family. Social media is an entirely separate and different type of connectedness and social pressure. The wrong post and the wrong time or with the wrong people can result in immediate ostracizing from one’s peers. The original cancel culture exists within the micro-universe of youth social media.
While social media and our youth’s drive for social engagement is a key ingredient to becoming an independent adult, it’s also clear there is an incredible risk to the mental health of our teens.
did you know?
“Social media creates an environment where disordered thoughts and behaviors really thrive.” – Claire Mysko,
Increased Emotional Intensity
They’re up, they’re down. They love life. They hate life. Sometimes it seems like their emotions are all over the place. And you’re convinced that if you pay attention, you can smell the crazy on them. Okay, they aren’t crazy. But they live life with an emotional intensity that cannot be matched during any other point in life. They are filled with seemingly endless amounts of energy and an exhilarating zest for life.
However, the problem is that such an emotionally driven style of life can easily lead to extreme emotions, depression, moodiness, and dangerous impulsivity. Overly emotional reactions can damage relationships, misuse complex emotions like love, and pursue unhealthy attachments based on emotional whims.
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Creative Exploration
One of the greatest joys I had as a teacher was the time I spent challenging students to think. It is quite something to witness a teen begin to understand more profound concepts, abstract reasoning, when they begin to challenge the status quo, and think outside the box. You probably all know of a story or two of an adolescent somewhere in the world who solved a unique problem with outstanding innovation and creativity. Now just imagine cultivating this kind of thinking well into adulthood.
But this kind of deep thinking can send students down a path searching for life’s meaning, identity, and purpose. If not navigated correctly, this can lead to crisis, the uncertainty of identity, vulnerability to peer pressure, and a lack of purpose. If left unchecked, this kind of thinking can lead our teens down the wrong path–a path that leads to despair, depression, anxiety, and addiction.
I have heard the teenage mind described as a dangerous minefield–to watch where you step. While that might be true in many ways, a better analogy would be an ocean–magnificent and full of wonder. It can be still and quiet or a raging storm. You can wade just above the surface or deeper than you ever thought possible. There is always something new to discover the deeper you go. But going unprepared could mean disaster. The mental wellness of our teens relies so much on our ability as adults–parents, pastors, teachers, coaches, and counselors–to help them navigate these dangerous but exciting waters.
