What Depression Feels Like
Do you ever get tired of looking up your symptoms on the web and only receiving answers in clinical terms. For example, if you type into google, what does depression feel like, this is the first answer that pops up: Depression is a mental health disorder characterized by persistently depressed mood or loss of interest in activities, causing significant impairment in daily life.
Now that information is accurate but it in no way makes me feel better. It also leaves so much open for interpretation. The diagnosis feels so clinical. As someone who feels a deep connection to people when emotions are expressed, I want to know that I am not alone in the feelings that I experience. For me, the battle is both mental and physical. So let’s break it down.
Sometimes when I wake up in the morning I feel like there is a 50lb blanket pushing my body down on the bed and I physically can’t get up.
My eyelids are so heavy I feel like they are permanently semi-closed. I feel like I could continue to sleep even after a full 10 hours.
I have no motivation to get anything done and nothing sounds appealing.
Emotionally I am usually on the verge of tears and if someone even says “Hey” to me in a slightly less than friendly tone I am a goner, let the tears flow.
My mind comes up with every excuse in the book as to why my life doesn’t matter or make a difference to anyone. I remember every person I have ever hurt and every mistake I have ever made until it all balls up into this giant mass of crippling fear and anxiety and I can’t move or speak, I just exist as a prisoner in my own head.
Yes, I would say that that holds true to the definition that depression causes significant impairment in my daily life.
Have you ever felt this way? Do you find yourself relating to my symptoms? You may experience different symptoms than the ones I described. Depression can look different to everyone. I know that I am not alone, and I want you to know that you aren’t either. Knowing that one simple truth can be a major step in finding a way out of this misery that so many souls are in.
You. Are. Not. Alone.
Say it out loud. Repeat it daily. Write it on your mirror. Set an alarm on your phone with that simple reminder. Then take the next step. Talk to someone.
Written by Sharla Ball
