Why a significant other will not cure your loneliness
Have you ever thought that if you had someone to be in a relationship with your loneliness would disappear? In today’s day and age, more and more people are part of this pandemic of loneliness and they have no idea how to get out of it. We live in an age when social outings consist of scrolling through feeds to find out what your friends are doing without actually joining your friends in person. We hardly have any real human connection anymore.
This needs to stop. Isolation leads to loneliness and loneliness leads to far greater problems.
So what do most of us think is the cure? To find someone in person of course. But instead of searching for friendships and reaching out to connect with family members, we think we just need to find the one person who will love us. There are a few issues with this idea.
First of all, it will never be a healthy relationship if you fully depend on another person for your happiness, fulfillment, or even to feel complete.
That is a lot of pressure for another person to carry. It is neither fair to them nor to you to put all of your eggs in one basket.
Different people can fill different needs in your life.
For example, your significant other should not be your therapist. Your husband also can’t do girl talk as well as your best friend. Your wife also might not be as interested in playing video games as some of your buddies. Spreading out your interests and who intersects with those interests will help to fill each need in your life in a different way.
Married people feel lonely too.
Marriage is not the cure to loneliness, it’s simply an alternative to singleness. Being in a relationship will ensure at least one other person is part of your circle of influence, but we were created to be social creatures. We need a village to survive.
So what steps do we need to take in order to prevent or correct these feelings of loneliness?
Start by making a list of the people that you trust and reach out to them. Make a plan to have dinner once a week or a phone call every two weeks. Set a goal to do something new once a month that could introduce you to new people. The more you can build up your network of care, the more choices you will have when you need to reach out for help.
Written by Sharla Ball
