4 Simple Steps to Take When Gratitude Seems Out of Reach
I want you to take a moment and imagine yourself in a beautiful forest. It’s fall. It’s a sunny but cool day, the leaves are changing colors, and the wind gently pushes the leaves around, providing an instrumental backdrop. The moment could not be more beautiful, and you could not be more grateful to be in this place. Now, I want you to imagine the same forest. Instead, this time, it’s dark. The wind is howling—almost yelling at you. Nothing looks familiar. Instead of beautiful colors, all you see is darkness—shadows reaching for you.
Ok, that was intense and a huge contrast but the same forest.
What’s the difference?
It’s a Matter of Perspective
Of course, there is a difference in the environment, but there is also a difference in perspective. The first scenario was the perspective of gratitude, and the second was anxiety and fear. Anxiety scans our environment for threats, but appreciation scans the environment for good things—for gifts. Gratitude helps us to tap into our capacity for joy and even discover beauty in unexpected places. With an anxious mindset, our focus stays on what could go wrong, and we can't access the positive potential that's around us.
It can be very easy to spot negative areas in our life. Oftentimes we only remember to be thankful during the Thanksgiving and Christmas seasons. But showing gratitude needs to be a year-round practice. Because it actually affects our brains a lot more than we realize. Gratitude not only impacts our moods and outlook on life, but it also has scientific backing on its ability to benefit our physical, mental, and emotional health.
Recently Indiana University did a study with 300 adults, mostly college students, who were seeing a mental health professional. They had one group write a letter thanking a random person in their life each week. After only 4 weeks, these adults had significantly better mental health than the ones that didn’t write letters. But what is even more interesting is that the adults who wrote letters didn’t need to send them. In fact, only 23% of the people that wrote the letters actually sent them. The researchers discovered that simply writing down something we are thankful for improves our mental health.
Click Here to Learn More About the Science of Gratitude
When Memories Help Gratitude
I encourage you to take some time today to think through what you are thankful for. Maybe even write down or tell a friend how much you appreciate them. Additionally, I urge you to express gratitude for the blessings in your life, not just today but in the days to come.
But let's be honest. While becoming grateful is as simple as writing it down and looking for opportunities to express gratitude. If you’re like me, when stress is high or I’m flooded with anxiety, it is difficult to scan my environment for good things even when I know it’s helpful and moves me away from anxious thoughts faster.
But allow me to suggest a quick strategy that might help when gratitude seems out of reach. Take a moment and look back at memories—the good ones, the memories where it's easy to find gratitude. Sometimes gratitude is harder at the moment, but it’s much easier to reflect on past memories. Here are some memory subjects to think about.
Think about a time when you were someone special to you.
Think about a meal that you enjoy sharing with other people.
Think about a special place.
Think about an animal that has been close to you.
When we access these kinds of memories, they can actually grow our brains. When we can access appreciation, we can return to a state of joy. Sometimes it can be hard in a moment of frustration, fear, or chaos to find gratitude, but when we recall past gratitude, it can act as a sort of a reset for our present moment—helping our mind return to a state of joy.
