Want To Be Happy? Practice The Magic Words In 3 Steps
It stands as one of the first, and for some the most important, things we teach our young children. Some parents even teach it before their children can speak using sign language. It's one of the fundamental building blocks of a happy home, and it's so simple.
Please and Thank You
It's not only polite, but the simple act of gratitude and thankfulness holds the keys to our happiness and helps us maintain good mental health. It's not just a polite way to behave. Gratitude is a powerful human emotion. It helps build strong and sustaining relationships, perseverance, and growth from adversity with greater strength and motivation.
Yet somewhere, as we all get older, the prospect of gratitude becomes harder to express and easier to forget. Our broken world makes it easy to demand, want more, and never feel satisfied--making it difficult to step back and appreciate what's in front of us. There is always the next thing, the upgrade, the new version, the latest trend, and the newest technology. There is always something shinier, faster, bigger, smaller, more desirable, or just plain new. Our never-ending world of the latest and greatest leaves us wondering how in the world can gratitude be possible?
But our ability to say the magic words is critical to a life of mental wellness and happiness. Researchers at Berkeley conducted a study to determine the chemical reactions in the brain that happen in response to gratitude. They wanted to understand how gratitude drives overall altruistic intentions. Their findings suggested, "that practicing gratitude may help train the brain to be more sensitive to the experience of gratitude down the line, which could contribute to improved mental health over time." In other words, gratitude can make a person happier and less prone to depression, increase empathy, reduce aggression, and even helps you sleep better.
But I get it, perhaps things aren’t quite going your way, or your circumstances are less than ideal. Maybe it's your job, family, friends, or physical or emotional health. These can drastically impact your mental health, making it more difficult to find gratitude. But it's in those times of hardship that gratitude—although elusive—is most effective. It will have to be incredibly intentional and deliberate, but far from impossible.
Step 1: Return to the simplicity of using the magic words.
While it's true that we teach our kids to say please and thank you because it's polite, we can return to such basics for a much more important result—your mental health. It's a simple start. Just say it. Thank you. Whenever you can. As much as you can. Let others know that you appreciate them. Offer a "thank you" when you step outside on a bright sunny day. You can even utter a thank you for good soaking rain. You can be thankful for a great meal, comfortable clothes, a good movie, and time well spent with loved ones. You can see where I'm going with this. The list is literally endless, and once you get going, it can be hard to stop. This leads me to the next step.
Step 2: Write it down.
Researchers worldwide have noted that physically recording what we are thankful for has some of the most potent effects. It might sound a bit silly for some of you, but keep a journal with nothing but notes of gratitude. Every day, start listing out all of the things you can be thankful for. If speaking the words didn't spiral out of control, writing it down certainly will. It can be unbelievably easy to dwell on one or two negative things. While those moments can hold you down for a moment, the endless lists of “thank you” will quickly outweigh the negatives when you start writing down all the positives you have experienced.
Step 3: Make it a Community Effort.
Like any good habit, they last longer and have a greater impact when practiced in community. So make it a family or community affair. Use mealtime, bedtime, or time spent in the car to share your own moments of gratitude with loved ones. Sharing gratitude and hearing gratitude from others encourages everyone when thankfulness is harder to come by.
I’ll get us started…Thanks for reading.
