Pornography
First, a disclaimer.
Two actually.
Let’s make this clear. Using pornography does not mean you are an awful person. It means you’re human and that you experience desire and arousal like anyone else.
Pornography is not a safe, healthy expression of sex. It may be common, but it is not normal.
To begin with, let’s define what it is. Webster’s dictionary tells us that pornography is any “writings, pictures, footage, etc. intended to primarily arouse sexual desire.” It biologically manipulates our minds and bodies into reacting to it in the way we were made to react to other humans. The problem is that given enough exposure or time, we can actually rewire our brains to react only to pornography. This makes real intimacy with another person seem less appealing and more difficult to achieve.
In “Real Sex: the Naked Truth About Chastity”, author Lauren Winner writes that, “For the first time in human history, the images’ power and allure have supplanted that of real naked women. Today real naked women are just bad porn.”
Marty Klein, a sex therapist in Palo Alto, says, “Porn is not meant to be sex education. But for many young people, it is—and that’s especially problematic if the porn is violent.” Validating his statement is a study from 2020 that revealed approximately 45% of teens who consumed porn did so in part to learn about sex (Fight the New Drug, 2021).
The thing is, biologically and psychologically, sex was always meant to be a deeply bonding, sacred experience between two consenting adults. It was never meant to exist apart from a relationship, but pornography doesn’t include any of that in it’s equation. Porn can’t teach us what good sex is because it can never be truly good itself. It’s a fake. It’s entertainment. It’s a money maker. It’s a relationship free turn-on which, we understand initially, might seem kinda like a dream come true. That’s its hook.
Can’t get any of the boys to notice you? There’s always porn. Girlfriend playing hard to get? Porn never does that. What porn does do is hurt you. It hurts the way you view others and your chances at having a healthy, real sexual relationship down the road.
Based on statistics today, porn is already mainstream entertainment but we don’t have to consume it. Finding an adult you trust to talk about this with is the first step you can take. And as always, we’re here to chat anytime about anything, including porn.
References: 20 must-know stats about the porn industry and its underage consumers. (2021). Fight the New Drug. Retrieved from https://fightthenewdrug.org/10-porn-stats-that-will-blow-your-mind/.
Challenges/Points:
Pornography is meant to manipulate your body and mind. It has the power to biologically change the way you perceive and react to people sexually.
A large percentage of teens report consuming porn in part to learn about sex but porn is never the same thing as healthy, sacred sex.
Pornography can warp our expectations and damage our understanding of something meant to be beautiful and good.
Questions:
Do you watch pornographic videos, visit chat rooms, or read graphic sexual material?
How old were you when you had your first encounter with pornography?
Do you ever feel that porn has more control over you than you do over it?
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