Society constantly tells us that we need to “Go, go go!” or we’re lazy, unambitious, or unmotivated. Even in this rising self-care movement, it can still seem like resting is frowned upon. However, rest is imperative! If we are constantly moving, thinking, working, etc., eventually, we will burn ourselves out and become irritable and all around exhausted. I personally struggled with this last year. 

Whether it be school, work, sports, or just maintaining a social life, our day to day lives can get pretty hectic sometimes. A way I like to calm down and destress after a long day of rushing from activity to activity is bullet journaling. A bullet journal is a journal of your own design with the purpose of recording the past, organizing the present, and planning the future. Bullet journaling is a simple but effective way to organize your thoughts and free up brain space each month. It can be however simple or detailed you want it to be and all you need is a dotted journal and a writing utensil. A bullet journal keeps track of your goals each month and it’s fun to look back on and see how far you’ve come. It’s also a great way to get your creativity flowing. 

As a young person, I learned quickly from parents, school, or other adults that brain development is not finished until you’re about 25. There are plenty of decisions I look back on from my teen years and question what I was thinking. I wouldn’t choose that now! It’s true that brain development occurs well into your young adult life. Our brain actually changes throughout our entire life. Knowing the development stage we are in can help us make wise choices during that time to keep our brain healthy. 

The relationships we see around us can shape and change us, especially at a young age. We look up to our parents for several years, and the relationship between our parents may be the one we observe and analyze the most. Do they love each other first and their kids second? Do they try to hide arguments or have full blown yelling fights in the kitchen? Were they openly affectionate with each other or did they never touch in front of you? Family dynamics can be difficult, especially if your parents divorced during your childhood.

There are several ways to encourage a healthy relationship with your brothers and/or sisters. One step would be not to compare yourselves to your siblings. This can be easier said than done in some families. However, each person is different - you have different goals, talents, and personalities. Be yourself and appreciate what your sibling is striving for (Goldfarb, 2018). Also, work on your communication skills. If you’re disagreeing on something, how can you work towards a compromise or a win-win solution? Disagreements don’t always have to end terribly. For example, if my brother and I are arguing about who gets the car that evening - could one of us drop the other off where they’re trying to go? Are my plans flexible and I could go another night? These arguments seem small, but if you’re fighting all the time about “silly” stuff, it will eventually cause a strained relationship (Lohmann, 2014). Also with communicating, tell your sibling that you appreciate them! Speak lovingly. We tend to think that our family knows we love them and think highly of them; however, everyone needs to hear they are cared for and someone is rooting for them. Verbalize that appreciation you have for them (Goldfarb, 2018). Finally, as you get older, try to find ways to spend time with your siblings. It can seem hard in those teen years and beyond, but if you can work on intentionally hanging out with each other, it will strengthen the relationship (Lohmann, 2014).

We all know that feeling. The feeling of dread, creeping over your body and pressing down on you. The seemingly abundant thoughts that keep coming at you with things you have to get done or will soon have to do. As a student, it can be overwhelming. Even when you’re able to get one thing out of the way, you get another assignment thrown at you. So if we can never truly get everything done, how are we supposed to get past this?

Stress and anxiety plague students all over the world. Everyone is, has, or will experience it at some point. As for me, I started experiencing stress around fifth grade. In the first week of school, I lost one of my math assignments and got behind trying to redo that, along with keeping up on all the new assignments we got. But even when I did catch up, I still found myself getting stressed out. That’s because for the rest of the year, I was constantly making sure that I stayed up to date on tests and homework. Even now, I struggle with trying to remember everything and keeping track of what I have to do. The truth is that no matter how behind or caught up you are, school is always going to be a source of anxiety. However, the good news is that no matter if you’re in fifth grade, college, or somewhere in between, there are ways to cope and greatly reduce school-related stress.

In January of 2021, I ran a half marathon for the first time. Prior to this race, I had never been much of a runner (AT ALL) and had only run about 3 miles in a different race. Despite this, my friend asked if I would run with her, which turned into training for a half marathon. I completed the race, but during the last half of training and after the race, I had pain in both knees. It hurt to crouch down at the grocery store, go up and down stairs, jump, run, etc. Around April, I finally got in to see a physical therapist. She told me that while my strength was great, I was very inflexible for someone in their 20s. She gave me 10 minutes of stretches I needed to do everyday to improve my flexibility and work towards healing my knees. Since then, my knee pain has immensely decreased, and I can run short distances again.

All too often in our society, sleep tends to be placed on the back-burner. We all like the idea of sleeping and letting our bodies rest after a long day. However, we don’t always make getting to bed a necessity. We all know what going on little sleep feels like, so why don’t we try to make sleep as routine as our mornings? It’s not always that easy. Sometimes it’s work that keeps us from getting enough sleep. Other times we have to be at some event that goes well into the night. These things are largely out of our control. However, there are also times when we are the root of our lack of sleep. Maybe it’s the time you're out late with friends. Or it might just be that night that you can’t seem to put your phone down. Either way, most of us aren’t getting enough sleep.

There are few hobbies that require as little to get started as drawing or sketching. Although this may seem like an intimidating hobby at first, drawing is really more about the way you see things than anything else. And like anything else, it can absolutely be learned. There are countless books or online tutorials about how to draw. The one thing that connects them all is the learned ability to look so closely at something or someone that you can break it down into shapes, shades, and angles. Besides, who doesn’t love an artist?!

ust because you may not think you’re “right-brained” doesn’t mean you don’t use creativity every day or wouldn’t benefit from it. Whenever you’re creating something, you tend to get “lost” in the activity - it requires more thought and concentration than it seems. This total absorption is sometimes considered to be “flow.” Being in this state of mind is caused by changes in brain function - brain waves slow down and original thoughts are easier to form. The prefrontal cortex actually deactivates for a time, which helps us be more courageous and less critical of our ideas. Endorphins, serotonin, and dopamine are all released in abundance - who wouldn’t want that? This is similar to how your brain would act during yoga, mindfulness, and meditation, such a natural feeling of contentment (Brenner, 2019). 

Inwardly, I cringed every time someone introduced me as the “shy” girl. I hated that label so much, but didn’t know how I could overcome it. I couldn’t think quickly enough for a good comeback or randomly pull up extroverted skills that I didn’t have, so I felt like I had to cave to the pressure of what many thought of me. I went along with the part I felt like everyone expected me to play, except for when I was with my close friends or family. Only those who knew me well saw me for what I felt was a much better representation of who I really was. With them I was goofy, friendly, talkative, and always trying to think deeply about life.

“There are only so many seats on the train with you Lauren,” my friend says to me as I sip my drink across from him. “And either we’re intentional about who we give those seats to or… we’re not.” He takes a few swallows of his own beverage while I contemplate what’s just been said. He’s right. I know that. I can feel it in my bones. What he’s referring to is meaningful, close relationships. That inner circle of friends and/or family who are your tribe, your safe place, your people.

Or at least, they should be. But the fact is that when he tells me this, I know that there are definitely people on MY train who are less interested in what’s best for me and more interested in being where they want to be. It takes time, but eventually, I also realize that there are people standing on this metaphorical train station platform who I want to have on the train with me. I want them to know about what matters, to see them more regularly, to have them in my corner if they’re willing. But there isn’t any more space on the train… unless I make some. So I quietly pull back from a few relationships. I have a couple hard conversations where I’m up front about the shift. Not everybody is happy about it. But you know what’s even crazier? In the midst of making these changes, I realized something. 

One difficult to identify form of verbal abuse is when someone makes public jokes about you at your expense. The feelings you could experience as a result of this are shame, humiliation, anger, and confusion. Humor is an effective mask should anyone choose to confront the inconsiderate behavior. They can always respond with, “I’m just kidding. Don’t take it so seriously.” Don’t let such a response fool you. Anyone who responds like this simply doesn’t want to be held accountable for the hurt that their words caused. A person who truly cares about you and knows how to love in a healthy way will always listen when you need to talk about something they said or did that hurt you. They’ll believe you. They don’t want to hurt you. A person engaged in verbal abuse on the other hand will often attempt to convince you that you’re wrong and that what they said wasn’t actually that bad (Gordon, 2022).

Because verbal abuse doesn’t leave any visible wounds or bruises, it can be easy to overlook or convince ourselves that it isn’t so bad. But it is. Some of the long term effects of verbal abuse include chronic stress, low self-esteem, depression, anxiety, PTSD, social isolation, and substance use (Gordon, 2022). If you think you might be experiencing verbal abuse from someone in your life, please reach out and talk about it. No one deserves to be verbally abused. Ever.

Think of this as a challenge, one with few repercussions if not completed but possibly some unrealized benefits if accepted and acted upon. The next time you pull out your “to-do” list and start making plans, goals, or dreams for the day or even the year, leave some room for fun. Give yourself at least 20-30 minutes a day to do something you really enjoy but often think of as a “waste of time.” Read that book, go for a drive, call that friend, sing your favorite song, paint a picture, let yourself dream again, and find out what you didn’t know you were missing.

Spontaneity of any kind can be really difficult for some of us. Rigid schedules can make us feel like there’s no room for anything else in our lives. One more person asking us to do something, even if it’s a fun activity, may leave us feeling overwhelmed. First I asked you to block off a time every week to rest, and now I’m asking you to say “yes” to unexpected moments to take a break?? Yes. Do it and see if you actually regret it. I’m not saying to say “yes” to everything that comes up or spend all your nights being spontaneous. Just every once in a while, give yourself the space to do something that’s not on your schedule (but still something that you want to do). 

When it comes to hobbies, not all of us can throw a mean curve ball, set records sprinting down the final stretch of the track, or sink a basket for our teammates. Thankfully, sports aren’t the only game in town, and there is one incredible option available to most that celebrates an entirely different set of skills. I’m talking about drama. Theater. The stage. Musicals and plays. Linked to these events are communities that tend to celebrate the things that make us different. Besides, it takes just as much courage to perform in front of all your classmates and family as it does to play a football game or cheer.

A psychiatric study found that people who prefer an active daytime routine over a nighttime routine have better sleeping cycles. These healthier sleep cycles are associated with improved mental health and decreased likelihood to develop emotional difficulties. Furthermore, routines can lower stress levels and promote healthy daily habits. They can also boost productivity and focus. Not-surprisingly, routines are often recommended for individuals who have ADHD, insomnia, bipolar disorder, addiction, and depression. When you know what to expect and have some mental organization, it’s much easier to work through any symptoms of mental health conditions. Creativity can also thrive on structure! Creating a process for the everyday-things of life can release space for other, more important things (Plata, 2018; Cherry, 2020; Robins, n.d.). 

The past is the past! But how much we let the past affect us is the question! Every incident in our lives leaves a mark on us—emotionally, physically, mentally. How deep the mark depends on the problem. Job loss. Family loss. Financial loss. Loss of health. Notice that I said “loss” in each of these cases.  Whatever the cause, the result can be the same—grief or even depression. Grief is sadness; however, depression is much heavier.

Have you ever wondered why it is sometimes difficult to feel closely connected to certain people? While there could be a variety of factors that impact this, one characteristic that comes to mind is their willingness to be open or to share details of their life with you, as well as you doing the same. 

For example, maybe you have a co-worker, friend, or even a relative that comes to mind. When you ask how they are doing, their response is always “fine.” Perhaps even their social media account is filled with the highlights of their life, and from the outside, everything really does look fine so you believe them and move on with your day. However, as most of us know, the pictures never tell the full story, and so much more might be hiding below the surface.

We all have that one spot that seems to be the collection point for clutter. It seems to be a universal rule: clutter begets clutter. Once one thing is set down, other items seem to land there and accumulate. 

If you're feeling the anxiety start to creep up because of some cluttered area that is taking over your space, giving yourself 10 minutes to tackle some of the clutter can be a physical way you can address your anxiety. You don’t have to do a massive overhaul of your space to feel the releasing effects of decluttering. The following are a few small spaces that you can address that can be done quickly or in small increments, but feel like they leave a big impact.