It’s tempting to fall prey to the idea that it’s good to surround yourselves only with people who look like you, agree with your beliefs or your religion, or are in the same financial bracket as you, etc. That can feel good at first because it’s so easy. We like to see ourselves reflected in others, to have what we already think affirmed or find that we share interests or opinions with someone else. These are all natural ways of bonding. The trouble starts when we begin to exclude anyone who falls outside those cozy formulas.

Have you ever been in the middle of your own crisis when someone tried to lean on you for support or looked to you for their own guidance and emotional balance? If you’ve experienced this, then you know what the usual response is: a wide eyed, blank stare that essentially says: What?!? I can’t help you right now! I’m barely capable of helping myself! This is a far more common situation than you might imagine. For many, hardship and trials lead them to lean on anyone who happens to be close enough to grab, even if that person is up to their neck in their own problems. When this happens within families, it can lead to really explosive interactions!

Sometimes letting go of a goal is not the bad thing we think it will be. Instead, it provides us with the space and time for other things that we may not have been able to make priorities if we had stuck to the original goal. Also, it may mean that now is just not the season for us to pursue a certain goal if the motivation, passion, and determination is just not there no matter how hard we try to convince ourselves we can do it. 

Have you ever felt so absorbed in an activity that you lost track of time? In an article with Wired magazine, positive psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi described a flow state by saying, “The ego falls away. Time flies. Every action, movement, and thought follows inevitably from the previous one, like playing jazz. Your whole being is involved, and you’re using your skills to the utmost” (Cherry, 20221). It’s important to point out that the experience of flow isn’t just limited to hobbies or creative pursuits. Certain types of work can also let you tap into a place of deep, restful concentration.