Did you know that even simple goals often change us in ways we don’t see coming? It’s true! Hitting your goal regularly of drinking more water will keep you hydrated, yes, but it might also have effects you didn’t expect like clearing up your skin or making it hard to sit through history class without using the restroom! The moral is that we can’t always see all the ways a goal will change us.

“Well, do we want to go or not?”

I was in that moment again. That moment where what I said would determine whether my husband and I would be attending a party, community event, or charity dinner. We led fairly full lives, as most young couples do, but I tended to guard our free time like a territorial wolf. “No” was my favorite word.

One of the most important things about learning to set goals is how to tell when one crosses the line from healthy to unhealthy. How can you tell one from the other? One of the biggest signs of an unhealthy goal is that you believe your happiness of value is dependent on it. It’s an illusion that getting that grade, beating that record, or dating that certain person will bring you the happiness you haven’t been able to find anywhere else. Another sign of an unhealthy goal is that you hide or don’t want others to know about how you are actually working toward it. As Brené Brown says in her book, “Daring Greatly”, “It’s not what you do, it’s why you do it that makes the difference. Are my choices leading to my wholeheartedness or do they leave me feeling empty and searching?”

One was that I didn’t change everything about what I was already doing, I actually started with what I already had. I didn’t go and buy a bunch of specialized diet food, but instead took a look at what I was already eating and started cutting down my portion size based on what I actually needed instead of going by my cravings. This, along with buying a kitchen food scale to help me measure portions, made me come to terms with what my body would use in relation to how much exercise I was getting, and the nutrients that were right for me for each day.

Last year, I had my first panic attack. At the time, I was dealing with the highest amount of anxiety I’d ever had. I had messed up on something important, and even though it could be easily fixed, at that moment, my body started to react. My heart rate spiked, my breathing started to become labored, and I was shaking. Thankfully, I noticed what was happening. I started to try and even out my breathing. In through the nose...out through the mouth. Over and over, until I had calmed down. Then came the tears. I probably sobbed for about 10-15 minutes, something I rarely do. I was so distraught about my anxiety, and I was stressed to the max.

Making a to-do list is incredibly helpful in achieving goals. It’s recommended. Personally, I love lists. Crossing things off is such a satisfying feeling. As much of an endorphin high as when finishing a mile run, in my opinion. My father-in-law used to call me Type AA - aka, I was so organized and list-oriented that it drove him crazy.

We’ve all had those days where we take a water bottle to our work day or school and at the end of the day, the water bottle is only half gone. In 8 hours, you’ve only drank maybe 8 oz of water. Drinking lots of water doesn't seem like a big deal unless you’re thirsty. We can all manage with just a little water everyday, but we should really be prioritizing this small part of taking care of ourselves. Creating and keeping up with this goal can make a huge difference.

Social media seems to consume every waking moment. When you don’t have all the accounts and stay updated, it can feel like FOMO (Fear of Missing Out). Younger people hang out in person and end up scrolling through Tik Tok, Twitter, or Instagram. When talking to my family, we often say “Did you see that ___?” The blank could be someone having a baby, getting married, etc. There have been days I’ve looked at my screen time at the end of the day, and the social media use has been 3-4 hours. Limits can be helpful in creating and maintaining boundaries with what we’re putting in our heads. It can feel like a daunting goal, but it is good for our mental health.

As children of a physical therapist, my brothers and I are constantly told to “Sit up straight!” As a student, I have spent many hours sitting (or should I say hunched over) at a desk on my laptop or reading. After a few hours, I notice that my neck, shoulders, and back of my head hurts. Freshman year of undergrad was terrible; sometimes, I had to stop working early due to head and neck aches. I even bought something similar to a recipe stand for textbooks to keep my head in line with my spine instead of dipping down to see a book. Posture is a seemingly harmless aspect of our physical and mental health; however, it affects more than we think. Therefore, we can easily create a goal of better postur

In January of 2021, I ran a half marathon for the first time. Prior to this race, I had never been much of a runner (AT ALL) and had only run about 3 miles in a different race. Despite this, my friend asked if I would run with her, which turned into training for a half marathon. I completed the race, but during the last half of training and after the race, I had pain in both knees. It hurt to crouch down at the grocery store, go up and down stairs, jump, run, etc. Around April, I finally got in to see a physical therapist. She told me that while my strength was great, I was very inflexible for someone in their 20s. She gave me 10 minutes of stretches I needed to do everyday to improve my flexibility and work towards healing my knees. Since then, my knee pain has immensely decreased, and I can run short distances again.

Think of this as a challenge, one with few repercussions if not completed but possibly some unrealized benefits if accepted and acted upon. The next time you pull out your “to-do” list and start making plans, goals, or dreams for the day or even the year, leave some room for fun. Give yourself at least 20-30 minutes a day to do something you really enjoy but often think of as a “waste of time.” Read that book, go for a drive, call that friend, sing your favorite song, paint a picture, let yourself dream again, and find out what you didn’t know you were missing.

Ready to set one food goal? Do a quick internet search, and you’ll find endless suggestions about nutrition—what to eat, what to never EVER eat (OMG!), and what the expert of the day advises. I’ve read boatloads of theories, tried lots of diets, suffered some disasters and had some big successes. In the end, I think it boils down to one thing: Eat nourishing food. 

There are so many benefits to cleanliness and organization. You may not have control over everything going on in your life, but this is one thing you can control. This space is YOURS. Also, like I briefly mentioned earlier, physical clutter can add to mental clutter and make it harder to focus. Each messy item is just reminding you of all the other things you have to do. Peace comes with putting everything in its place. Lastly, a clean space can also promote healthier choices. In one study, when participants were placed in either a messy or clean room - the ones in the clean room chose healthier snacks and were more generous (Madormo, 2021). 

Sometimes letting go of a goal is not the bad thing we think it will be. Instead, it provides us with the space and time for other things that we may not have been able to make priorities if we had stuck to the original goal. Also, it may mean that now is just not the season for us to pursue a certain goal if the motivation, passion, and determination is just not there no matter how hard we try to convince ourselves we can do it.