Broken & Unknown
“A line of pain sheared through his torso, driving him to the floor, where he writhed, scrabbling at his back. It felt like he was being sawed in half… It took minutes before the fit subsided and the last throb faded away, leaving Eragon gasping.” - Eldest, The Inheritance Cycle, by Christopher Paolini
The fantastical journey of Eragon in the fiction novel The Inheritance Cycle is riddled with adventure, magic, and dragons. But as with the best fantasy writing, these books tackle real-life problems in fantastical ways. Along Eragon’s journey, he faces a season of debilitating physical pain - an injury from a battle that makes him question his purpose and abilities to save the world around him and fulfill the hopes of the nation.
As a young high-schooler with my own physical injuries, I found myself relating greatly to this character and his confusion over the situation he finds himself in. After a back injury, I was experiencing paralyzing muscle spasms, flashes of pain, and sleepless nights. I grew up in a family full of athletes, and I found myself feeling like an outcast and a failure. How could I be myself when the wrong turn of my body sent me into fits of pain? How could I keep up with my siblings when stretching the wrong way sent my muscles into spasms?
I wasn’t allowed to run, or twist, or be on the trampoline, or jump off a diving board. I had to wear a giant, plastic back brace that everyone stared at. I tried to hide it under hoodies and oversized t-shirts. I felt like a freak. I felt fragile and that I could break at any wrong movement.
Maybe you’ve found yourself in a similar situation. Let me reassure you that you are not alone. Each of us has something we feel people stare at. We all have that thing that makes us feel like a freak compared to those around us. Trust me, even the person who looks like they have it all put together has something that they think everyone sees and knows and judges them by. We often shy away because of it. It’s easy to be confused as to why it’s happening.
In Eragon’s story, an encounter with magic transformed his body and took away his battle injury and ailment. A happy ending. In reality, that is not typically what happens to us. For myself, I still have to work hard to keep my back strong. I still experience regular pain, but I have learned how to live with it. More importantly, I learned how to change my dreams to fit my physical reality, compromising with where I’m at in life and where I want to be. It takes time and an open mind, but what you’re experiencing now does not need to define you. You can grow from it, learn from it, and alter your plans to accommodate who you are without giving up on your future.
Challenges/Points:
If you have something that makes you feel like a freak, you are not alone.
If you do not understand what you’re going through, don’t give up.
If you feel like you’ve given up on your dreams because of your circumstances, reapproach the situation with a new perspective. How can you compromise so that you can still do what you love?
Questions:
When our circumstances have us feeling down, don’t forget to look at the good still in your life. Can you take a moment to write down 5 things that still bring you joy?
What is your dream for your future? Do you feel like you have to give that up? Why?
Take a mental step back. Take a deep breath. Pretend that your circumstances were happening to someone else. How would you help them rethink their goals and dreams so that they could compromise and not give up on them?
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