Complaining
I think we can all agree that we tend to complain, a lot. The drive thru line took too long, my brother didn’t listen to me, I have too much homework, or my day hasn’t gone the way I wanted it to. These are all real complaints I have thought or said several times. It doesn’t help that society seems to be wrapped up in complaints too. People complain on social media, the news, etc. all day every day. Memes are created from complaining, people go viral ranting about something petty. We’ve been raised to complain.
It’s become a habit. Over time, it can actually become easier to be more negative than positive. Many times, we’ll complain about something instead of working towards a solution. It’s easier to rant about the issue than fix it. Because complaining is so easy, most of us already have those neural pathways. Complaining just enforces those pathways - those neurons get even closer together, and the connections get stronger. These “complaining” neurons learn to predict that you will complain again (Oppong, 2020)!
Not only is complaining bad for your neural activity, it affects your mood and those around you. Complaining can actually prolong your bad mood. When you vent to someone, cortisol is released, which is one of our stress hormones. You’re literally stressing yourself out MORE by complaining. We say “I just need to vent and get this off my chest.” when that actually just makes you more aggravated. Have you ever vented, and instead of feeling better like you thought you would, you end up more worked up? When you’re just lingering on that anger, you can actually weaken your immune system and raise your blood pressure (Oppong, 2020).
So what about hanging around negative people? When we listen to other people complain, our brain actually tries to give us that emotion so that we can resonate with them. You’re firing off those angry synapses when it’s not even your problem. Isn’t that crazy?
Okay, so I’ve drilled you on the never-ending negative effects of complaining, but what do we do about it? First, own up to the fact that you are a complainer. We all are, it’s okay to admit it. Next, start to focus on and recognize what is in your control and what’s beyond your control. Focus on yourself, what YOU can do in each moment is what you should be worried about. Yes, things happen to us (ex: getting cut off on the highway) that are out of our control, but start focusing on yourself. Next, learn to be a bit more grateful. Whenever you think about wanting to complain, shift your thoughts to something you’re thankful for (Oppong, 2020). Start to change those neural pathways to gratitude instead of complaining. Make it a goal to complain less this week - you’ll be surprised at how much negativity is lifted from your life.
Reference: Oppong, T. (2020). Complaining rewires your brain to make future complaining more likely. Ladders. Retrieved from https://www.theladders.com/career-advice/complaining-rewires-your-brain-to-make-future-complaining-more-likely.
Challenges/Points:
Complaining enforces negative neural pathways in our brain, keeps a bad mood going, releases cortisol, and increases blood pressure.
Hanging around negative people can cause your brain to fire off angry synapses about things that don’t even involve you.
Every time you think about complaining this week, think about at least one thing you’re thankful for instead.
Questions:
How do you feel after venting about a friend? Really consider it.
How do you respond to those who complain around you?
Would you consider working on decreasing your own complaining?
To talk more about this or something else on your mind text the number 494949 to chat with our team or visit RemedyLIVE.com/chat anytime, day or night.
Did someone send you this post, and you want to subscribe to our free self care guide? Text CARE to 494949 to receive daily posts.
