Suicide
At some point in our lives, most of us are going to know at least one person who has died of suicide. The way I phrased that is important. Maybe you didn’t grow up hearing this as much as I did, but I still often hear others say “committed suicide.” As we grow in understanding and empathy toward the things that can bring someone to consider ending their life, we’re also intentionally moving away from that language. It’s too closely linked to shame. We usually reserve the word “committed” for awful crimes, and although suicide was previously illegal in many parts of the world, that’s no longer the case. Saying “died of suicide” shows a deeper understanding of the complex mental, emotional, and physical dynamics that can play into such a devastating choice (Sam, 2020).
According to Psychology Today, “Depression is a key risk factor for suicide and others include psychiatric disorders, substance abuse, chronic pain, a family history of suicide, and a prior suicide attempt. Impulsiveness often plays a role among adolescents who take their life.” Although women are more likely than men to attempt suicide, it is men who most often complete the act.
There are multiple warning signs that we can keep an eye out for in our friends and family if we think someone we love might be considering suicide. Some of those signs include: self harm, increased interest in weapons, dramatic changes in mood or behavior, risk taking behaviors, depression, a history of previous attempts, jokes or references in writing or art to taking their own life, actual suicide notes, or making final arrangements such as giving away personal items. It’s also important to note that the sudden onset of happiness that follows a long state of sadness can also be a warning sign (NASP, 2015).
It can be difficult to know what to say to someone if they do tell you they’ve been thinking about suicide. With that in mind, here are several good responses you can steal (Freedenthal, 2017).
I’m so glad you told me that you’re thinking of suicide.
In what ways do you think of killing yourself?
I’m really sad that you’re hurting like this.
What’s going on that makes you want to die?
Do you have access to a gun?
Have you spoken with anyone else about this? Would you be willing to?
I hope you’ll keep talking to me about your thoughts of suicide.
If you believe that someone you know is considering suicide, speak to a trusted adult about it as soon as you can and encourage that person to call a suicide prevention hotline or seek professional help. And if you are thinking about taking your own life, PLEASE tell someone or call the hotline yourself.
The national suicide hotline is 800-273-8255 and is available 24/7. RemedyLIVE is also free 24/7 to text at 494949.
References:
Sam. (2020). You shouldn’t be saying “committed suicide” (and here’s why). You Matter by Suicide Prevention Lifeline. Retrieved by https://youmatter.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/you-shouldnt-be-saying-committed-suicide-and-heres-why/.
National Association of School Psychologists. (2015). Save a friend: Tips for teens to prevent suicide. NASP. Retrieved from https://www.nasponline.org/resources-and-publications/resources-and-podcasts/school-safety-and-crisis/mental-health-resources/preventing-youth-suicide/save-a-friend-tips-for-teens-to-prevent-suicide.
Freendenthal, S. (2017). 10 things to say to a suicidal person. Speaking of Suicide. Retrieved from https://www.speakingofsuicide.com/2017/10/03/10-things-to-say.
Psychology Today Staff. (n.d.). Suicide. Psychology Today. Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/suicide.
Challenges/Points:
Suicidal thoughts are often the result of extreme mental, physical, or emotional pain.
Try to say “died of suicide” instead of saying “committed suicide.” It’s kinder.
Don’t make any promises about keeping suicidal thoughts a secret if someone confides in you.
Questions:
Have you ever considered suicide?
What are three of the warning signs that someone may be suicidal? Try to memorize at least three!
Who would you go to for support if someone you loved did share that they had considered suicide?
To talk more about this or something else on your mind text the number 494949 to chat with our team or visit RemedyLIVE.com/chat anytime, day or night.
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