In the Arena
On April 23rd, 1910, former president Theodore Roosevelt gave an impassioned speech in Paris that would come to be referred to as “The Man in the Arena”.
“It is not the critic who counts,” he said, “not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs… if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”
There’s an important lesson here: we are not obligated to take to heart every voice that speaks into our life. The next time someone has an opinion about one of your dreams or ambitions, ask yourself this one question. “Are they in the arena?” Is this person in their own life (as far as you can see) doing the work? Are they striving toward something, learning, growing, pursuing their own dreams? Or have they chosen to sit, as many are inclined to do, in the audience and only give commentary on others?
It takes courage to face our fears and enter the arena of our own life. The worst thing we could possibly do at that point is listen to voices calling to us from the cheap seats. It can take time though to sort out where a voice is really coming from. We don’t always know right away whose voice we can trust; who is in the arena and who is not.
When I made the decision to homeschool our children in their youngest years, some well meaning family members expressed great concern about this. They were afraid I was not making the right choice, that I might harm my children somehow. However, homeschooling ended up being a wonderful experience for us and one that I am thrilled I had the courage to chase! A few years later, when I told these same family members about my decision to pursue training in the grass roots movement of death midwifery, they staged an actual intervention. After our daughters were tucked into bed, my husband and I listened for several hours as they voiced fear after fear about my decision to do this work. That’s when it clicked.
They weren’t in the arena.
They were judging us, harshly at times, from the stands.
I could love them but their voices shouldn’t be the ones I listened to when making decisions.
Once I recognized the unhealthy pattern present, a weight was lifted from my shoulders. They could have their opinions but I didn’t have to listen to them. It freed me up to identify others who ARE in the arena and those voices, those have made all the difference.
Challenges/Points:
“The Man in the Arena” is a speech Theodore Roosevelt gave about the value of being a person who is willing to dare greatly vs. the person who sits by and offers nothing but criticism about the work others are doing
It’s important in our own lives to figure out who is in the arena with us and who is not. We can trust and value the voice of someone doing the work more than the voice of someone who has chosen to play it safe.
Sometimes the people we wish were in the arena with us aren’t. Give yourself time to grieve or feel whatever comes up from this if it’s true in your life.
Questions:
The first most important question to ask is, “Are YOU in the arena?”
What are some signs that might tell you someone else is in the arena in their own life?
Have you experienced being criticized or given feedback by someone who didn’t have any skin in the game? How did that feel?
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