Resting with Others
There is an episode in the show, Friends (season 2), where Joey and Chandler get these Barcalounger chairs. They simultaneously sit down, pull on the lever, put their feet up, and groan in bliss as they relish in the comfort of the chair. The rest of the episode involves their adamant refusal to move from their chairs. They sit and snack, watch tv, and rest all day. Eventually, they’re there so long that the rest of the group basically has to intervene, but if there’s something these two showed in that episode, it’s that resting with friends is possible.
A few weeks ago, I had a good friend visit. I was a bit nervous because I had just been through two weeks of crazy grad school and wasn’t sure I would have the emotional or physical energy to entertain her and her husband for the day. However, as we made plans to hang out, she said “We don’t have to do anything, I just want to spend time with you and catch up.” I felt relieved immediately. We spent the afternoon at a coffee shop, dinner out, and a movie at home. There are few times I felt so rested while being with another human.
Rest doesn’t always have to look like going off and spending time alone (although we know many times, it is). Sometimes, we can rest with those closest to us and our souls need that too. When two people understand that the other needs rest, they can tailor their time together to be restful. If my friend would have told me that she wanted to go hiking, the market, and out on the town while she was here, I would’ve been stressed out and felt more drained by her coming. However, we both had very long weeks and just needed to catch up.
Sometimes too much time resting alone can actually be harmful, even for introverts. We need social interaction. I know, even as an introvert, that I need to get out and see people sometimes. There have been plenty of instances similar to the one I described above that my heart felt so full after spending time with someone or a group. We were not made to be alone and that is true for rest too.
So what does resting in friendships look like? Anything you want really. That day with my friend looked like just hanging out at a coffee shop, but I’ve also felt rested after going on a hike with a family member, enjoying the nature around us. When you’re looking to find something to do, evaluate yourself. How are you feeling? If you are in the midst of a busy season, maybe having a friend over just to sit on the couch and talk or watch movies is restful. Maybe there is an activity you’ve been wanting to try forever that you could invite someone to do with you.
It is imperative that we find ways to rest in our daily lives, but it doesn’t always have to be alone.
Challenges/Points:
Rest doesn’t always have to look like being alone. Sometimes the best forms of rest come with being with another person.
When resting with others, it’s important to remember to schedule your activity carefully based on what you each need.
Consider resting with a friend this week. See how it goes to involve someone else in your routine.
Questions:
Is there a time you can remember feeling rested after spending time with someone else?
What are some of your favorite things to do when resting? How could you involve someone else?
Does resting with another person sound appealing?
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