Grief on the Brain

If you haven’t already, you will experience grief (likely several times) during your lifetime. Grief comes as a result of many experiences. The most common one is due to losing someone who we care about, but we can also grieve breakups, divorces, etc. Grief can come suddenly and unexpectedly. It has the potential to disrupt our whole world. It really can feel like you’ve lost a part of yourself, and it can have a profound impact on our brain, so it’s important that we understand what happens when we’re grieving, as well as how to help ourselves heal. 

I want to take a moment to discuss the difference between “grief” and “grieving.” Grief is the actual emotional state that just envelopes you in a wave. It’s a natural response to loss, and it’s something we will feel for the rest of our lives. Grieving is adjusting to the loss of someone we love. Our relationship to grief will change over time due to grieving. For example, grief may shake you to your core the first several times you feel it, but eventually, you will see those waves and know you will get through it. The grieving isn’t quite as strong (McCoy, 2021). 

Our brain takes in grief as emotional trauma or PTSD. When we experience loss, we perceive it as a threat to our survival and so our default is to protect ourselves and use defense mechanisms. Our fight or flight mechanism is triggered, which causes our blood pressure and heart rate to increase. Past the initial response, grief can cause changes in your sleep, body function, immune system, memory, and behavior (AMF, 2021). The changes in brain function may not actually appear obvious because the individual can sometimes continue semi-normally; however, it still affects how the brain works. 

So what can we do to help our brain heal after grieving? First, please understand that grief is normal and all the emotions that come with it are okay. We are all going to deal with the sadness, anger, confusion, etc. at several points in our lives. As you process that loss, practicing exercises that encourage mindfulness and relaxation are important. These include journaling, creativity, and meditation. By engaging in these activities, we can feel a sense of calmness and safety, which help us move forward (ABF, 2021). That being said, if you’ve been grieving for a long time (longer than 6-12 months), this could be considered a prolonged grief disorder. This may impact your everyday functioning. At this point, it may be healthy to consider talking to a counselor or therapist about your grief. They can help you with any necessary rumination and processing. While your brain is dealing with a lot during a loss, it doesn’t have to be immensely painful forever. As always, if you know someone who is currently grieving, please lend them grace and support as they adapt to life without someone important to them.

References:

Healing your brain after loss: How grief rewires the brain. (2021). American Brain Foundation. Retrieved from https://www.americanbrainfoundation.org/how-tragedy-affects-the-brain/. 

McCoy, B. (2021). How your brain copes with grief, and why it takes time to heal. NPR. Retrieved from https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2021/12/20/1056741090/grief-loss-holiday-brain-healing.

Challenges/Points:

• We are all going to deal with grief at one point or another in our life - all the emotions and disruptions that come with that are normal to experience.

• Grief can change how our brain functions - our memory, behavior, sleep, etc. can all be impacted when we lose someone. 

• To promote healing post-loss, engage in mindfulness activities and speak to a counselor if the grieving feels like too much to bear or has gone on for a long time. 

Questions:

• Have you dealt with grief at this point in your life?

• How did you deal with grief in the past?

• How can you show someone you know support during their time of loss?

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