Internal vs External Processors
During an argument, I’m usually the quieter one. Sometimes, it looks like I’ve shut down. However, I may not have a lot to say verbally in the moment, but my mind is running at 90 miles/hour processing what’s going on. Typically, the next day, I’ll have pulled my thoughts together and can speak on whatever is going on.
One of my closest friends sends me long Marco Polo videos. She often gets on when she’s feeling some strong emotions and needs to verbalize them. I watch as she talks through what she’s dealing with. Sometimes, I’ll hear “Oh, that’s why I ____.” as she makes sense of it all. By the end, she feels better.
These are two examples of different thinkers. I’m an internal processor, and my friend is an external processor. Internal processors think about most hard topics inside their head. They tend to have a conversation with themselves before they speak aloud. Oftentimes, this can make them pretty slow to respond. External processors verbally talk through what they’re thinking. Whatever comes out may not be their final thought, just part of the process (Miller, n.d.). This goes down into how our brains are wired. Some of us need to internally think about things before we verbalize them, while some of us are wired to talk through it. Both are valid, and one is not better than the other. It also does not mean that internal processors aren’t talkative or sociable or that external thinkers talk too much - this concept relates to hard conversations or ones that require an action to occur.
So which type of thinker are you? You may be able to tell already, but here are some indicators for each. (Miller, n.d.).
Internal:
You choose each sentence carefully and with purpose.
When you speak your conclusion, it feels like a final conclusion.
You tend to need to speak out loud in order to take action. It may take a moment to get there, but once you speak it, you’re going to do it without the need for accountability.
You don’t like to speak until you’ve thought through everything you can think of.
External:
You say what you’re thinking, even if you don’t agree with every word of it.
You may be someone who thinks with a broad scope and needs help narrowing it.
You don’t choose your words super carefully, but you may not mean that word like other people do.
You do need time in silence to process but probably not very much.
Can you tell which type of processor you are? With this in mind, you can communicate more effectively with others on your end, and see how others communicate with you. If you’re an external processor, try letting them know you’re just thinking, and then clue them in when you’re coming to your conclusion. That way, they can track with what you’re saying. If you’re an internal processor, you can just let the other person know that you are thinking, and try verbalizing what area without going into specifics. This helps the other person not feel lost (Miller, n.d.).
When we understand how our brains are wired, we can communicate better with others. Which thinker are you?
Reference: Miller, B. (n.d.). Communicating with external and internal thinkers. Coach Approach Ministries. Retrieved from https://coachapproachministries.org/thinking-styles/.
Challenges/Points:
Internal and external processing are two ways we think through some of the big topics or hard conversations.
Internal processors tend to think through all points in their head before speaking them out loud. External processors verbalize their thoughts until they reach a conclusion.
Think about yourself and those closest to you. Try to determine what your thinking style is, and ask them about theirs.
Questions:
Are you an internal or external processor?
How can you better communicate with the opposite type of thinker than you?
What do you notice yourself processing the most about?
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