Talking to Yourself
“Okay, I’ve got my backpack, lunch box, breakfast bowl, and coffee. What am I missing? Oh, my keys. Yeah, definitely wouldn’t make it very far without those, Liz.”
“Why is he calling me again? I just talked to him like 5 minutes ago.”
“Okay, if I need to leave at 7:40am, then I need to be in the shower at 7am. My workout is 40 minutes so I need to set my alarm for 6am because I know I’ll lay there a while before I get up.”
The above are all very real conversations I’ve had with myself, and two of them happen pretty regularly. Talking to ourselves is something we all do, maybe the most when we’re by ourselves. And typically, we tease others when we notice them talking to themselves. It’s common to hear “You talking to yourself, ____?” in my house. However, it’s actually pretty normal (and can be helpful) to have full conversations or speak out loud to yourself.
Self talk is defined as “a verbal expression of an internal position or belief, meaning it expresses inner feelings, non-verbal thoughts, and intuitions about a situation through speech. The person only intends to direct their speech at themselves” (Zoppi, 2021). It’s exactly what it sounds like - speaking out loud about something to yourself. There are three types of self-talk: positive, negative, and neutral. Positive and negative are what they sound like. Neutral self talk may look more like giving yourself instructions, similar to the third example I gave above (Zoppi, 2021).
There are several benefits to talking to yourself. It may help with critical thinking - you can break down your thoughts and problem solve. It may increase focus. I know I’ve caught my mind wandering before and said “Liz, get back to it.” It may help reduce stress or anxiety. This looks like telling yourself that everything is going to be fine to help regulate your emotions. With that, it can also be a motivator (Cleveland Clinic, 2022). “Let’s crank out this paper. You got this.”
If you are going to talk to yourself, try to remain positive. There is no need for that negative self-talk, it’s not helping anyone. Also, refer to yourself with your name versus pronouns - this helps distance yourself instead of feeling it very personally. All this being said, there are a few things to remember. Talking to yourself in public situations may not always be appropriate (i.e. an elevator full of people). Try to remain aware of where you are. Furthermore, self talk is normal and healthy unless you are hallucinating too. If you find yourself talking to someone/something else while you’re alone, this can be a sign of something else going on. It might be helpful to pursue some mental health services in that situation.
Overall, it can be helpful and healthy to talk to yourself! Enjoy the benefits and don’t feel self-conscious anymore.
References:
Talking to yourself: Is it normal? (2022). Cleveland Clinic Health Essentials. Retrieved from https://health.clevelandclinic.org/is-it-normal-to-talk-to-yourself/.
Zoppi, L. (2021). Is it normal to talk to yourself? Medical News Today. Retrieved from https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/talking-to-yourself.
Challenges/Points:
We all tend to talk to ourselves, typically it is pretty normal and even healthy to do so.
Talking to yourself can decrease stress and anxiety, help with critical thinking, increase focus, and help motivate you.
Next time you find yourself talking outloud to yourself, pay attention to what you’re saying - is it positive, negative, or neutral?
Questions:
Do you talk to yourself regularly?
What kind of self-talk do you engage in most? Positive, negative, or neutral?
Which benefit seems most helpful in talking out loud?
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