Ordinary
As if God hid the building blocks
Of every beautiful thing
In this game of hide and seek
I can’t help but think that ordinary has swallowed the key
Bodies fashioned out of dirt and dust
For a moment we get to be glorious
Ice sculptures adorned in light
Sand castles built tall in between the tides
- Sleeping at Last “Four”
If there is one message I think the current culture has downloaded into all of our brains, it’s probably this: Don’t be ordinary. Ordinary doesn’t get as many likes. It doesn’t put you on reality TV shows. It will probably never lead to celebrity or fame. It’s like a twist on the completely natural human desire to be seen… except on steroids. This is the desire to be seen by thousands. Millions. And the weird thing is that it’s closer to our fingertips than ever because, well, social media.
Guess what? You and I were NOT designed biologically (or socially) to handle constant access to the details of hundreds of people’s lives. Or vice versa. We were wired to interact with, and thus compare ourselves, against a much smaller pool of people. As author Brené Brown says in Daring Greatly, “I see the cultural messaging everywhere that says an ordinary life is a meaningless life. I also understand how grandiosity, entitlement, and admiration seeking feel like just the right balm to soothe the ache of being too ordinary.”
The word itself comes from the Latin “ordinarius” which meant customary and usual, not distinguished in any way. Let’s think about that for just a minute. Aren’t there a tremendous amount of things in life that we appreciate specifically for that reason? Because we can count on them so deeply, they don’t seem elevated or special. That doesn’t diminish their value. It’s just what defines them.
I think it becomes clear that we’re all extraordinary when the fullness of our lives and our stories can be seen but in day-to-day life who needs that pressure? I sure don’t. There’s comfort in the ordinary. Peace and belonging too. Every time we’re brave enough to show our ordinary, we give the person next to us the permission to admit they’re ordinary too.
It’s a powerful thing to be able to accept your ordinary (and see the beauty in it) while still striving to be the best version of yourself. To believe in the ordinary without associating any of the negative connotations our culture has created. As musical artist Sleeping at Last wrote in his lyrics for the song “Four”, the key to seeing the deep beautiful things of this world is hidden there. It always has been, always will be. Let’s embrace our ordinary together.
Challenges/Points:
Ordinary doesn’t mean “bad” or “not good enough”. It just means “customary or usual”. Our culture has created the pressure that we should always be amazing, unique, and different from everyone around us but we weren’t created to live with that burden.
Your value isn’t linked to how many likes you get, how many followers you have, or the number of friends you invite to an event. Your value is baked into your bones and soul. It isn’t up for discussion. Ever.
Try to actively notice things that are ordinary this week about the world around you and yourself. Keep a list. Poets do this all the time. Most poetry is created by taking time to find just the right words to write about ordinary, shared human experiences.
Questions:
What if the key to belonging is hidden in embracing the ordinary parts of yourself?
Do you try to present a certain picture of yourself to friends, family, and followers?
Try finishing this sentence: “If I wasn’t special then…” Or this one: “If I was ordinary then…” What do your answers reveal that you believe about yourself?
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