Obituary Goals
Sometimes when I stumble across a really, really good obituary online, I like to share it on social media. There’s something about getting a snapshot of who a real person is that I find absolutely fascinating. Some obituaries are unbearably funny. There’s a computer generated one that you can find online for a woman named Brenda Tent that reads, “Brenda Tent retired from living at the age of old surrounded by family and natural causes. A librarian from birth, Brenda was an avid collector of dust. She had no horses but thought she did. The funeral will be held in 1977. In lieu of flowers, send Brenda more life.” I STILL laugh out loud when I read that. We should let bots write all of our obituaries.
Then you have your more serious, sincere obituaries. These are the ones that tug at your heartstrings and make you wish you’d had a chance to meet the person you’re reading about. Whether you’re a silly obituary type or a serious obituary type, there’s one good question we can all ask ourselves from this. If there was going to be a serious obituary written about me and my life, what would I want it to say?
This is where things get interesting. Thinking about how we might be remembered is a mindfulness tool that can help us make better decisions now in the present. And while we can’t necessarily control whether or not we marry or even how many children or grandchildren we may or may not have, we CAN control how we choose to spend our time and what we choose to spend it doing.
One way to start this practice is to pick an adjective that you would like for people to use in describing you. Say, for example, that I wish for friends and family to remember me as being passionate about the things I care about. The best way to live that out is probably to spend my time volunteering for different causes, perhaps showing up at some protests with signs I’ve made, or working to raise funds for a certain organization. If, on the other hand, I’d love to be remembered as being kind and generous, then focusing on ways I can give or support others is the best way to live that out. Perhaps I could bring some coffee to a friend who’s at home with a sick child or offer to check in on the cat for my neighbors if they ever plan a trip and need help with that.
Thinking this way isn’t a form of trying to manipulate people into believing what you want them to. It’s more of a way to zoom in on what really matters to you. And what matters most should always be at the forefront of the choices we make day to day.
Challenges/Points:
Imagining what your future obituary might say is a powerful tool to use in considering how you are spending your time today.
Think of certain characteristics you wish to be remembered for and then select activities that help foster and give space for those character traits.
We can’t control everything in life but we can control our attitude and how we spend our time.
Questions:
Are you more of a silly obituary person or a serious obituary person?
What is one thing for sure that you would want your obituary to say?
How can you change one thing in your life this year that will make the way you want to be remembered more real?
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