Birth Order
A lot of research shows that birth order can impact the way a child grows up and who they develop into. However, others say it doesn’t determine anything. From what I’ve seen in my own family, as well as in close family friends, I think there is something to be said about birth order. It’s certainly not the be all end all - just like any personality theory, it can be taken with a grain of salt.
Birth order is about how the family environment a child is raised in can have an effect on personality. Let’s start with talking about only the firstborn. Some of the most common personality traits are being an achiever and leader, struggling with being controlling (and a bit bossy) and wanting to be right, and wanting to please others, specifically adults. They can also be pretty protective, especially of younger siblings and are generally pretty reliable (Dean, 2021). They are most likely to hold careers like CEOs, senators, and astronauts (hence the achiever trait). They may earn more than the other kids (Kluger, 2011).
The middle children can have it rough. They have to share attention with both their older and younger siblings. If there are a lot of middle children in the family, they may not be as competitive but middle children in smaller families may feel they have to compete for attention. Middle children often feel life is unfair, may feel left out or unloved at times, and can be impatient. They are generally more outgoing, learn how to deal with all the siblings, and don’t have the responsibilities of the oldest nor the privileges of the youngest (Dean, 2021). However, they may develop stronger relationships outside of the home (Kluger, 2011).
The youngest of the family tends to get a lot of attention from the parents since the other kids are getting older. They may be funnier and learn to duck the punch before it comes (They’re scrappy fighters!). They’re charming (Kluger, 2011). They want others to make decisions and take on the responsibility. They may be faster in development because they’re trying to catch up to the older siblings (Dean, 2021).
What if you don’t have siblings? Only children get a lot of attention from their parents since there isn’t anyone else to compete with. They may be mature for their age, confident, sensitive, self-centered (from all the attention), and often spoiled. Because of how much time they spend with adults, they may not feel they always relate well with peers. They may also be manipulative if they aren’t getting their way (Dean, 2021).
As I said before, birth order is not the be all end all. These are just some common traits seen depending on where you are in the birth order. What happens in our past - how we are raised in our family environment, can affect us for the rest of our lives. Nurture can substantially influence the personalities we carry with us for the rest of our lives.
References:
Dean, M. E. (2021). Birth Order Theory: Insights into your Personality. Better Help. Retrieved from https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/family/birth-order-theory-insights-into-your-personality/.
Kluger, J. (2011). The Hidden Power of Siblings: TED Talk. Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aFBIPO-P7LM.
Challenges/Points:
Whether you are a firstborn, middle child, lastborn, or only child, you may identify with some of the characteristics mentioned above.
The way we were raised within a family affects us later in life.
Examine your own family and where you are in the birth order. Do some of your own research on birth order to see more of its effect.
Questions:
Where are you in the birth order?
Can you identify with any of the above traits?
Do you think birth order can affect personality?
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