Dissociation
“I remember staring into the bathroom mirror at school and feeling like I wasn’t looking at my own body. That wasn’t my face, my eyes looking back, was it? I remember feeling like I was outside of myself a lot, floating disconnected somewhere close but not here. Not in my own body.” My friend Cara shared that with me recently (I’ve changed her name out of respect) as we sat talking about the ways we remember our teen selves responding to the different traumas we were experiencing at the time. For her, it was an alcoholic father. For me, a mother with undiagnosed mental illness and multiple divorces and remarriages. I’d experienced depression and maybe a touch of what she described, but nothing to that extent. Nothing that stuck.
What she described is called “dissociation,” and it’s defined as “a mental process where a person disconnects from their thoughts, feelings, memories or sense of identity” (BHC, 2012). You may also hear it referred to as “depersonalization.” For many individuals, this is a coping mechanism that allows psychological distance from painful or traumatic circumstances they can’t change or control. This is why after a car accident, it can feel like you’re watching everything unfold in a movie instead of real life. Something about it just doesn’t feel completely “real.” That’s dissociation at work protecting your brain. And in most cases it resolves itself. It goes away. Dissociative disorders are when the signs and symptoms don’t go away. This requires diagnosis and specific treatment (BHC, 2012)
Some of the signs that your dissociation may be more serious are (BHC, 2012):
Trouble with handling intense emotions.
Large memory lapses of important information (such as personal identification, address, etc.).
General, drawn out feelings of being disconnected from yourself.
Unexpected shifts in moods that can’t be explained or don’t make sense.
Depression or anxiety, or both.
Feeling that the world we live in isn’t real (this is called derealization).
Difficulty concentrating.
The sense of being compelled to behave a certain way, not in control of your choices.
There are four types of dissociative disorders. These include dissociative fugue, depersonalization disorder, dissociative identity disorder, and dissociative amnesia. You may be asking what causes these disorders and that’s a great question. So far, the general consensus among professionals is that chronic trauma in childhood is the most common cause. This includes traumas such as physical or sexual abuse or emotional abuse or neglect. Other experiences may cause dissociative disorders in adulthood such as war, torture, or experiencing a natural disaster (BHC, 2012).
If you believe you may be dealing with a dissociative disorder (or dealing with depersonalization in general), please speak to a licensed therapist, a counselor at your school, or an adult you trust.
Reference: Dissociation and dissociative disorders. (2012). Better Health Channel. Retrieved from https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/conditionsandtreatments/dissociation-and-dissociative-disorders.
Challenges/Points:
Dissociation is the process of disconnecting from your own thoughts, feelings, or experiences.
Dissociation can be a temporary form of self protection or can develop into longer term disorders that affect daily life.
If left unchecked, dissociation can lead to other issues such as self harm, insomnia, depression, drug or alcohol use, anxiety, and more.
Questions:
Have you ever experienced dissociation?
What do you think caused the dissociation you experienced?
Is there anyone you are close to who might be coping with dissociation currently?
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