Before the Sun Goes Down
If you have relationships in your life, then it is almost guaranteed that you will also face conflicts from time to time. When handled in healthy ways, challenges in relationships can help us grow in character and promote peace and understanding. However, ignoring difficulties or handling them in harmful ways, can affect your mental rest and even rob you of sleep at night.
Sometimes this happens in my marriage or friendships that I have. Here is how this kind of scenario usually plays out. At some point during the day, some kind of hurtful exchange or misunderstanding takes place between me and someone I am close to. It doesn’t even matter who is more at fault in the situation because the lingering effects tear away at my inner peace. Often, instead of addressing the issue right away, I fill my time up with other tasks that keep me busy and my mind off my circumstances. Outwardly, I look like all is fine, and I may be even trying to convince myself of that inwardly as well. Then, when it is time for bed and my head hits the pillow, all of the sudden I realize how not fine I really am.
I start tossing and turning as the hurtful exchange seems to be on replay in my mind. As much as I try to tell myself to go to sleep and deal with the problem later, this seldom actually works, and I lay there frustrated as the issue I ignored all day now takes over my ability to rest and put my mind at ease. It turns out that rifts in relationships affect us more than we like to let on at times. And that putting them off to figure out later isn’t actually a good substitute for trying to solve the problem when it is more fresh in our minds.
What should you do if you find yourself awake at midnight, unable to rest because of a relational conflict? Sometimes when the conflict is between my husband and myself, we end up finding that neither of us is able to fall asleep. When that is the case, bringing the issue into the open often leads the way for resolution to happen. If it is too late and neither of you are functioning at your best, even just reassuring the other person that you care and would love to set aside a time to discuss things the next day can add that element of peace that leads to better sleep.
If the person does not live in your home, sending them a thoughtful message expressing your desire to connect and restore your relationship could also be a good idea. Or if the conflict was very hurtful, sometimes just writing out all of your thoughts in a letter that you don’t actually send them, brings clarity and direction for when you are able to speak with them again. The quicker you take proactive steps to mending the disconnect in a relationship, the sooner your sleep and mental rest will be restored as well.
Challenges/Points:
The relationship challenges we face during the day can affect the sleep and rest we get at night.
Try to handle any relational conflicts during the day to avoid elusive sleep at night.
If you can't speak to the person before going to bed try writing out what you would like to tell them and wait until a better time to have a conversation with them.
Questions:
Are there any relational conflicts in your life right now that you have put off resolving?
How do unresolved emotions affect your sleep or mental rest?
What is one step you can take today to help you find peace in the midst of challenging relationships?
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