Deciding between Yes and No
I’m always excited about “volunteer plants.” The random vegetables that just start growing in the Spring without any help from me. I’m not that great at gardening, so when plants spring up, I get a little giddy.
One year it was pumpkins. I had tossed the remains of a pie pumpkin in the tired-out Autumn garden the October before. April came around and we planted a few rows of green beans. The beans came up alright, and right in the midst of all those beans, were some sprouts of pumpkin. I wasn’t expecting those sprouts, but there they were. Because I loved the idea of a bountiful harvest of pumpkins, I let them go, to see how they would fare.
Despite them being small and welcome in May, they became overwhelming and intrusive in July. The green beans that came up 6 weeks earlier could barely see the sun, choked out by the explosion of pumpkin vines. We ended up with some pumpkins in the end, but we didn’t get a whole lot of green beans, which was kind of the plan to begin with.
I learned my lesson that year. And this year, when the volunteer squash and tomatoes popped up – they were ripped out. It pained me to have to rip out healthy plants, but I knew that if I didn’t pare down, nothing would grow well.
Kind of like life, right? There are a lot of good things that we can say ‘yes’ to. But too many good things packed into a life means nothing is really thriving.
And, just like paring down the plants in the garden, choosing to say no to a good thing can be painful.
But, let’s not be quick to say no just because it feels like our life is too full. Because, it could be exactly what was supposed to be brought across your path. How do we determine when we should politely decline, admitting that we can only grow green beans this year, or move ahead with a yes?
Are you in a season where you can give this commitment the time and energy it deserves? If you’re already booked sun up to sun down, then this may be someone else’s yes and not yours.
Would you be saying yes out of obligation? You don’t want to commit out of obligation, that will only breed resentment.
Does this line up with your priorities? If you are finding your schedule full and there isn’t room for more, it may be a good time to take a look at what you’ve already committed to. Is your life full of things that line up with your priorities or has the schedule seemed to fill up with busy work and other people’s priorities that have been placed on you? If you are wanting to take on something new, something that does line up with your priorities, then some paring down may need to happen to allow that.
Challenges/Points:
Saying no can be a hard exercise, but it may be necessary for you to thrive instead of just surviving.
Review your priorities. Check to see if the things you have said yes to are things that line up with your priorities.
Don’t be quick to say yes out of obligation, this will only breed resentment down the line.
Questions:
Do you have some volunteer plants in your own life that may need addressed?
Do you have a hard time saying no?
How do you combat the pull towards over-commitment?
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