The Question Mark
Her birthday was just a few days away, and I was on the hunt for the perfect present. I scanned the shelves, trailed my fingers over scarves, and picked up a few small knick knacks, but nothing seemed just right. Although we’d attended middle and high school together, Naomi now lived several states away so she could study dance. I missed her terribly. We mailed, texted, or called each other whenever we could, but a birthday seemed to call for something a little more special. Something memorable. I was determined to keep looking until I found it.
And then, there it was: a big, black question mark sitting on the store shelf. It screamed my friend’s name. We’d just talked recently about how we weren’t taught that it’s good and important to ask the hard questions. Instead, we were taught not to rock the boat, not to ask questions that might upset the status quo. In our own way, we were both starting to push back against that. I bought the question mark, wrapped it up, and sent it on it’s way along with a heartfelt note letting her know just how much it meant to me to have her on this journey too.
Author Brene Brown wrote that, “Choosing to be curious is choosing to be vulnerable because it requires us to surrender to uncertainty.” It takes a distinct form of courage to be willing to ask questions that you KNOW may not be well received. Curiosity is not always welcome. A mind that looks around the corners, that wants to fully explore a concept or a belief is a good and powerful thing, but not everyone will appreciate it or see it that way.
What if we each made it a goal in life to ask more questions? Can you imagine what a powerful tool that would be for shaping… well, literally everything? If we asked our neighbors more thoughtful questions, we might be able to see challenges they’re facing that we couldn’t see before. If we examine our religion (if we have one) from a place of questioning, then we will truly own what we do believe, not just borrow it from our parents or our grandparents. And if we ask intentional questions of ourselves, we will come to know and understand ourselves far more clearly than we did before.
Naveen Jain, the CEO of a company called Viome directly links his success as an entrepreneur to the power of asking questions. He says, “...the more questions you ask, the more answers you’ll receive and the more solutions you’ll uncover. But it’s important to be asking the questions that nobody else is asking. By simply asking a different question, you can open up the possibility of having dozens of different answers and ways to solve a problem. That is the power of thinking differently.”
Reference: Prossack, A. (2021). The power of asking the right questions. Forbes. Retrieved from https://www.forbes.com/sites/ashiraprossack1/2021/11/05/the-power-of-asking-the-right-questions/?sh=7fd3c6a6217e.
Challenges/Points:
Asking questions is a brave thing to do because it reveals you don’t know the answer.
Not everyone responds positively to curiosity or big questions. Ask them anyway.
Learning to think of and ask the questions no one else will is a valuable skill.
Questions:
Were you raised to be the sort of person who asks questions or who doesn’t?
Does the idea of asking hard questions make you nervous or uncomfortable?
What is one area of your life where you can start asking more questions this week?
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