Relational Goals
Finish my semester with As and Bs.
Get into grad school.
Graduate.
Find a new place to live.
Complete this huge work project.
These are all (big) goals I’ve had for myself in the last two years. All realistic, some requiring more work than others. However, notice how all of these are task-oriented. Getting into grad school required a lot of specific prerequisite classes, experiences, writing personal statements and resumes, etc. All tasks. When we create goals, whether that be at the start of a new year, when we start a new semester, or begin a new job, they often are about things we need or want to get done. However, I want us to take another look at goals through the eyes of people, relationships. Relational goals.
Relational goals are exactly what they sound like. Thinking through the relationships in your life and determining what you want from them (for the both of you) and where you want them to go. For example, I noticed that during the first few months of moving across the country, my parents and I rarely called or FaceTimed. Don’t get me wrong, we still talked regularly via text, but I was craving more interaction (and they were too). I texted them both and asked if we could try and FaceTime every other week. Now we’ve been able to do that for the past few months, and it’s been rewarding to catch up in real time. This is just a small example, but something that has positively impacted my relationship with my parents while I’m away from home.
Here are some more examples of relational goals:
Call your Grandma every other week instead of waiting for the holidays to see her.
Taking your sibling out for ice cream once a month to get some one-on-one time with each other.
Starting pre-marital counseling with your fiancé to prepare for your upcoming marriage.
Take a road trip to visit that friend who is several hours away.
Go to the gym with your roommate once a week as a way to spend time together doing something you both enjoy.
Starting weekly date nights with your spouse so that you can connect.
All of these examples work towards strengthening your relationship with others, and they take work, just like the task-oriented goals. Calling Grandma twice a month may require setting a reminder on your phone and building time in your schedule to sit down and talk. Taking a road trip requires probably at least 5 days away and gas money. But your friend will forever remember you taking the time to visit her, and your Grandma will look forward to the phone calls.
Relational goals are just as important as our task goals, even more important in many cases. So, as you start a new year, new month, or new week, think about those in your life that you want or need to invest in more. What can you do to build that relationship?
Challenges/Points:
We often only consider task-oriented goals, but relational goals are just as important.
Relational goals don’t have to be extravagant; they can be as easy as picking up the phone and calling a relative once a month.
Examine your current relationships to see where you would like to grow.
Questions:
Who in your life have you been wanting to get closer to?
What is one relational goal you can create and start this week?
What are some relational goals you may have intentionally or unintentionally made in the past?
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