Sorting through Emotions
When it comes to our past, we process it through our emotions.
Have you ever come across an inconsequential event, but yet it evokes a strong emotion in you like anger, irritation, or sadness? That particular event isn’t necessarily sad or irritating, but for some reason, that’s what it caused you to feel?
There’s a strong possibility that this event triggered you. The event reminded you, back in the recesses of your mind, of something that was difficult in your past that you have not yet fully processed. A seemingly benign event has now brought up emotions that you need to do something with. Do you just shove them down, project them outward on others, or process them and move on in a healthier direction?
Depending on the level of pain in your past, it’s possible you may need to talk to a licensed counselor. But, you can start the work on your own as well. Recognizing these emotions and then facing them head on can be the start to a more emotionally healthier you.
When these emotions arise, the first step is to recognize them and name them. Acknowledge that your reaction to an event may be unusual and not directly related to what is happening at all. Take the time to think through why these emotions may be coming up at this point in time. Try to name the event in the past that may have initially evoked these strong emotions. Don’t be quick to shove this aside or push it down.
When you’ve been able to identify the emotions, insert the emotions into “I” statements. “I feel anxious.” “I feel anger.” “I feel confused.” By associating yourself with the emotion, it allows you to claim it, name it, and begin the process to release it.
We cannot heal in a vacuum. Trusted, healthy friends and family members can help. When we start to make these connections between our past and our emotions, share them with someone who can help you process it outloud. While you take the steps to name your emotions, also practice the act of letting go of judgement. We often associate ‘good’ and ‘bad’ with different types of emotions, and judge ourselves as ‘good’ or ‘bad’ for having certain ones. In truth, we are complex and made up of a wide range of emotions. We are not good or bad for having them, but we are responsible for what we do with them.
It’s natural to not want to feel bad so it’s also natural to want to repress emotions that make us feel that way. However, if we continue to repress them versus acknowledging them, we are never able to let them go and they continue to weigh us down without us realizing it.
When you allow yourself to get more comfortable with your emotions, you become more adept at navigating life situations. You’ll be able to react more appropriately and enhance the relationships with those you love.
Challenges/Points:
We process our past through our emotions.
A seemingly inconsequential event can trigger strong emotions in us.
It’s our responsibility to work through our own emotions so that we can react in a healthy way to others in our relationships.
Questions:
Is this particular topic hard for you to discuss?
Do you have a friend or family member that can help you process your emotions?
Which of the above steps: identify, “I” statements, and sharing, is the hardest for you to do? Which is the easiest?
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