The Value of Tradition

Nothing brings out tradition like a holiday. Christmas, Thanksgiving, Easter, the Fourth of July, and birthdays can all have some sort of tradition wrapped into them.

Sometimes, as we get older, we may feel the need to shrug off traditions as silly and maybe even stifling. They may seem like something that we do “just because” and we have no connection as to why our family may do it in the first place. But, before you go shirking all the traditions and forging your own path, consider the positive side of traditions.

A study conducted in the Journal of the Association for Consumer Research, found that participating in family rituals boosted feelings of closeness with other family members as well as enjoyment and happiness. To gain these warm feelings of belonging, the study found that you actually need to participate in these traditions year after year and not just reminisce about them (Sezer, et al., 2016).

Rituals such as holiday celebrations, family reunions, and Sunday dinners affect the psychological well-being of families and promote a strong sense of personal identity in individuals along with feelings of connection (Sezer, et al., 2016). 

Many family rituals and traditions involve closeness and large gatherings. For some of us, that may feel intrusive or overwhelming. However, relaxing activities such as sitting by a warm fireplace, helping to bake cookies, or reading a book with a younger relative can help lower levels of cortisol, a stress hormone, which can improve your sleep and overall well-being (Konkel, 2018). Interacting or bonding with others triggers the release of oxytocin, a feel-good hormone that promotes feelings of emotional security and attachment (Konkel, 2015).

So, for those who feel uncomfortable and anxious with traditions and large crowds, how do we participate and still get the positive effects?

Make time for other self-care practices, too. If you know you are going to be at an event that may leave you feeling depleted, schedule a treat for yourself afterwards. This may look like an in-home spa experience or a hike at a local reserve. Whatever actions help revive and fill your tank, put that on your calendar to take care of you.

Focus on the experience. There are parts of traditions that you actually enjoy, and you just may miss those because you’re focusing on the parts that you don’t. Focus on the quality of interactions that you have with others or that particular food item that you always look forward to. When you accentuate the positive, the whole experience can be enjoyed.

Set boundaries. Know when enough is enough. Setting healthy boundaries might mean turning down an invitation when you have too much going on, or saying “yes, but” and only engaging with one part of a tradition. For example, you may agree to come for the family gathering dinner portion but cut out when the flag-football game begins.

Not all traditions are old-fashioned and out-dated. Family traditions can enhance that feeling of belonging and improve our mental health when we focus on the best parts of getting together.

References:

Sezer, O., Norton, M. I., Gino, F., & Vohs, K. D. (2016). Family rituals improve the holidays. Journal of the Association for Consumer Research, 1 (4). Retrieved from https://www.journals.uchicago.edu/doi/abs/10.1086/688495?journalCode=jacr. 

Konkel, L. (2018). Cortisol: Everything you need to know about the “stress hormone.” Everyday Health. Retrieved from https://www.everydayhealth.com/cortisol/guide/. 

Konkel, L. (2015). What is oxytocin? Everyday Health. Retrieved from https://www.everydayhealth.com/oxytocin/guide/.

Challenges/Points:

• Traditions can be beneficial to our mental health.

• Sometimes family gatherings and traditions can be overwhelming but we can take steps to lessen these feelings.

• Taking time for self-care, focusing on the positive, and setting boundaries can help us to still gain the benefits of family traditions without completely depleting ourselves.

Questions:

• What is a family tradition that feels overwhelming to you?

• What is a family tradition that you love?

• What action can you take to assure the positive effects of traditions at your next family gathering?

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