The relationships we see around us can shape and change us, especially at a young age. We look up to our parents for several years, and the relationship between our parents may be the one we observe and analyze the most. Do they love each other first and their kids second? Do they try to hide arguments or have full blown yelling fights in the kitchen? Were they openly affectionate with each other or did they never touch in front of you? Family dynamics can be difficult, especially if your parents divorced during your childhood.

There are several ways to encourage a healthy relationship with your brothers and/or sisters. One step would be not to compare yourselves to your siblings. This can be easier said than done in some families. However, each person is different - you have different goals, talents, and personalities. Be yourself and appreciate what your sibling is striving for (Goldfarb, 2018). Also, work on your communication skills. If you’re disagreeing on something, how can you work towards a compromise or a win-win solution? Disagreements don’t always have to end terribly. For example, if my brother and I are arguing about who gets the car that evening - could one of us drop the other off where they’re trying to go? Are my plans flexible and I could go another night? These arguments seem small, but if you’re fighting all the time about “silly” stuff, it will eventually cause a strained relationship (Lohmann, 2014). Also with communicating, tell your sibling that you appreciate them! Speak lovingly. We tend to think that our family knows we love them and think highly of them; however, everyone needs to hear they are cared for and someone is rooting for them. Verbalize that appreciation you have for them (Goldfarb, 2018). Finally, as you get older, try to find ways to spend time with your siblings. It can seem hard in those teen years and beyond, but if you can work on intentionally hanging out with each other, it will strengthen the relationship (Lohmann, 2014).

I enjoy Disney’s movie, Encanto, for a number of reasons, but mostly because of how relatable the main characters are and how much we can learn from them. Spoiler alert, if you haven’t seen the movie yet and want to, you may want to watch it first before reading the rest of this.

Let’s start with Mirabel, the perky, sweet, teenager we are introduced to in the beginning of the movie. Apparently, she is the only one in her family not to have received a magical gift and so she is dealing with feeling average or left out but is trying to be positive about it. I wonder how many times this story has played out in our own lives? I know for me, while there are things that I am good at, I don’t have a special gift that sets me apart. Feelings of inadequacy have followed me all throughout my life. The question of “What do I have to offer?”, is one that most people struggle with at some time in their lives.