People are More than What They Do
I enjoy Disney’s movie, Encanto, for a number of reasons, but mostly because of how relatable the main characters are and how much we can learn from them. Spoiler alert, if you haven’t seen the movie yet and want to, you may want to watch it first before reading the rest of this.
Let’s start with Mirabel, the perky, sweet, teenager we are introduced to in the beginning of the movie. Apparently, she is the only one in her family not to have received a magical gift and so she is dealing with feeling average or left out but is trying to be positive about it. I wonder how many times this story has played out in our own lives? I know for me, while there are things that I am good at, I don’t have a special gift that sets me apart. Feelings of inadequacy have followed me all throughout my life. The question of “What do I have to offer?”, is one that most people struggle with at some time in their lives.
One of her older sisters, Louisa, is gifted with unusual physical strength. She uses her muscles to help out the town’s people, and everyone comes to depend on her. While on the outside she is strong and seeming impenetrable, on the inside the pressure and worrying about measuring up to others expectations is crushing her. I think most parents can relate to this, and I’m sure others can too. On the outside, many of us are hoping to appear like we know all the answers and can handle whatever is thrown at us, but on the inside, the pressure to get it all done is sometimes crippling.
Her other older sister, Isabella, is the picture of beauty, grace and perfection. On the outside, she looks flawless, but on the inside, she is struggling with wanting to break out of the confining box she and others have unknowingly placed her in. Being someone who has also struggled with letting go of perfectionism, I also can relate to elements of her personality as well.
And lastly, there is Abuela, the matriarch of the family, who has lost sight of the value of her family members over the years and instead focuses on what they can give or produce by means of their magical gifts. Her intentions are good, but no one feels her love when she operates out of this perspective. There are times when I am guilty of this as a parent too and have to take a step back and see my kids through the lens of having value for just being themselves instead of because of their talents or abilities.
Overall, this movie reminds me to take a more thoughtful approach in how I view those in my life or even myself. When I treat them as valued just because of who they are, I will find that my relationships grow, my empathy for their situations deepens, and the pressure to perform or be a certain way diminishes leaving room for joy and understanding.
Challenges/Points:
Seeing others as valuable based only on their abilities weakens the kind of relationship we are able to have with them.
When we create a safe space for others to be vulnerable with us or for us to open up to them, we will find our relationships reaching new depths of understanding and closeness.
The way you view others can either strain or strengthen the bonds between you, so make sure your focus is on more than what appears on the outside.
Questions:
Can you identify with any of the personality traits from the characters in Encanto? Or do you know others who might fall into some of the categories?
What kind of problems can result from focusing on the value of others based only on what they can do or give to us?
How can you help others to feel valued in your relationships because of who they are and not their abilities?
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