Healthy Sibling Relationships
As someone who has three younger brothers, I’ve learned how important these three are in my life. As young children, we didn’t always get along well - lots of wrestling, arguing, etc. As a teenager, when one brother got his license, there were several fights about who got to use the car. Whose plans were more important? All three of my brothers are still teenagers, but as I moved for college, I came to value the time I spent with them more. We still don’t always see eye to eye, but I work harder to intentionally spend time with them, have the hard conversations, etc. Your siblings are going to be in your life to some degree for your entire life. Wouldn’t it be helpful if these relationships were healthy and ones you value?
What makes these relationships so important? When you’ve had a relationship with someone since birth, there is a level of authenticity that is formed. You have shared experiences, memories, etc. from your childhood. There is also the fact that they are part of your family tree. There is history and meaning behind those you are blood-related to (Lohmann, 2014). Research shows that healthy sibling relationships can impact us later in life. When individuals reported having a good relationship with their brother or sister, they also reported lower rates of depression and higher satisfaction levels. Furthermore, when you’re going through something difficult, your siblings are there for support, no matter if you live next door or far away (Lohmann, 2014).
There are several ways to encourage a healthy relationship with your brothers and/or sisters. One step would be not to compare yourselves to your siblings. This can be easier said than done in some families. However, each person is different - you have different goals, talents, and personalities. Be yourself and appreciate what your sibling is striving for (Goldfarb, 2018). Also, work on your communication skills. If you’re disagreeing on something, how can you work towards a compromise or a win-win solution? Disagreements don’t always have to end terribly. For example, if my brother and I are arguing about who gets the car that evening - could one of us drop the other off where they’re trying to go? Are my plans flexible and I could go another night? These arguments seem small, but if you’re fighting all the time about “silly” stuff, it will eventually cause a strained relationship (Lohmann, 2014). Also with communicating, tell your sibling that you appreciate them! Speak lovingly. We tend to think that our family knows we love them and think highly of them; however, everyone needs to hear they are cared for and someone is rooting for them. Verbalize that appreciation you have for them (Goldfarb, 2018). Finally, as you get older, try to find ways to spend time with your siblings. It can seem hard in those teen years and beyond, but if you can work on intentionally hanging out with each other, it will strengthen the relationship (Lohmann, 2014).
References:
Lohmann, R. C. (2014). Health Sibling Relationships. Psychology Today. Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/teen-angst/201404/healthy-sibling-relationships.
Goldfarb, A. (2018). How to Maintain Sibling Relationships. The New York Times. Retrieved from https://www.nytimes.com/2018/05/08/smarter-living/how-to-maintain-sibling-relationships.html.
Challenges/Points:
Sibling relationships are some of the most important relationships you will have in your life - they have been there since the beginning and you have a lot of shared memories and experiences.
Those who report healthy sibling relationships have lower rates of depression and higher satisfaction.
Don’t compare yourself to your siblings, work on communicating well, speak your appreciation of them to them, and try to find time to intentionally spend with them.
Questions:
How many siblings do you have?
Do you feel you have a healthy sibling relationship?
Would you consider talking to your siblings about building a good relationship?
To talk more about this or something else on your mind text the number 494949 to chat with our team or visit RemedyLIVE.com/chat anytime, day or night.
Did someone send you this post, and you want to subscribe to our free self care guide? Text CARE to 494949 to receive daily posts.
