Building Self-Love
The most powerful relationship you will ever have is the relationship with yourself. -Steve Maraboli
I was taking a walk a few evenings ago when a child's chalk drawing stopped me mid-step. At my feet was a circle with eyes and a mouth and a scratching of hair. Beside it was a sloppily written message: "I hate myself".
It is heartbreaking that the message on the sidewalk can appear at such an early age. I know the feeling of not loving yourself. I lived many years with the same attitude, and I’d been pondering self-love that very evening as I wandered through my neighborhood, thinking of the places I still needed to grow.
I was one of those people who never stood up for myself. When someone insulted or ridiculed me, I figured they were probably right. I convinced myself that I was helping situations by not starting a fight, but honestly, I just didn’t have the confidence to stand up for myself. I didn't see my own value.
Love yourself. I'd heard the advice, but it never sank in. The people who screamed the message seemed self-centered and arrogant, and I didn’t want to be like them. But making everything about you is not what self-love is about. Not at all.
Self-love is foundational and often isn’t immediately evident. People who practice self-love value themselves and treat themselves with kindness, respect, and dignity. They confidently give themselves the support that they need. When their lives are in order, they can love others more deeply. Self-love isn’t any more selfish than furnishing your home before inviting others over to visit! It’s a fundamental necessity.
If you struggle with loving yourself, these are just a few of many ways to practice.
Compliment Yourself. Look in the mirror every morning when you get up and every evening before you go to sleep and tell yourself "I love you and I accept you" then list off three things that you love about yourself! Yes, it’s awkward at first, but you'll get used to it. Everyone loves a compliment!
Get to Know Yourself. Grab a notebook and ask yourself questions about all sorts of things, just like you would talk to a new friend. Be honest. Write your own opinions. You may surprise yourself! If you don't have an answer, start thinking about it. You'll love yourself better and feel more confident about who you are when you’ve put some effort into being your own friend!
Set Aside Time for Yourself. Set up a special event for yourself. Make sure it’s something that sounds fun to you. Simple things are great! Visit a new restaurant, pack a picnic lunch, dedicate an afternoon to that book you’ve been wanting to read, spend a morning at the zoo, drive to a neighboring town and explore a fun little café or thrift shop... The possibilities are endless!
You alone are enough, you have nothing to prove to anybody. -Maya Angelou
Challenges/Points:
From childhood onward, it is easy to lose sight of one’s own value.
Self-love is a critical foundation for every relationship.
There are lots of small ways to build up, support, and care for yourself.
Questions:
Do you struggle with seeing value in your own life?
Do you tend to let other people decide your life’s trajectory and your value?
Why not schedule some time to care for and love yourself this week?
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