Conflict Resolution
My grandmother used to say, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, then don’t say anything at all.” While in most cases, that is excellent advice - keep your mouth shut when you’re about to say something hurtful to another person. They are words I have lived by for many years. However, as a kid, those words took on a much larger scope of meaning than I think my grandmother intended.
See, what my grandmother was trying to teach us was to avoid using words as weapons. Don’t intentionally cut others down to make yourself feel better. Don’t rip into another person because you are frustrated and care nothing for how your words made that person feel. She was right. But I took it a few steps too far. I began to avoid conflict altogether. If I was angry with another person, I held it in, worked to keep the peace, and never resolved the dispute.
Over time, those relationships became strained and eventually toxic. I never learned to have grace and never allowed others to redeem the relationship. As I grew older, I had a hard time working with others and forming friendships. Because I never truly understood how to properly resolve conflict.
None of us are perfect. We are all messed up in some way or another. This means we all create tension, conflict, and strife in our relationships. No matter how hard we try, we will mess up in our relationships. It’s how we restore what’s broken that matters most. So when someone wrongs you or hurts you, instead of just letting it go, trying to ignore it, or holding a grudge, face the problem by confronting the person.
Let’s be honest. Are you really going to let it go? Nope. Are you really going to be able to ignore it? Not likely. And is it really worth holding a grudge and putting the relationship in jeopardy? Not at all. Every kind of relationship--from friends to spouse to parents--demands we deal with our differences, address the problem, listen to each other, have grace, and forgive each other.
Resolving the conflict and restoring the relationship requires talking face-to-face, being honest with one another, confronting our differences, and finding common ground. It might be the most straightforward, yet most profound advice I have ever received. But make no mistake, it’s also some of the most difficult. Because confronting another to resolve conflict requires us to be humble and open to being wrong ourselves. It requires us to come to the table without a selfish agenda. In other words, my grandmother was right. If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything. So go to the other person with something nice to say--have grace, resolve the conflict, and find forgiveness.
Challenges/Points:
We all will mess up a relationship at one time or another, so instead of holding a grudge or just letting it go, we need to work to resolve conflict and restore the relationship.
All of our relationships demand we deal with our differences, but doing so requires us to be willing to talk and be humble enough to listen and have grace.
When a relationship is strained, our first instinct should be an extension of love and grace for the other person intending to seek restoration.
Questions:
Take a minute and think about your relationships. What unresolved conflict do you need to deal with?
What are the differences you need to confront in that relationship? How can you approach the conversation with love and grace?
How can you show humility and understanding for any strain you may have caused in the relationship?
To talk more about this or something else on your mind text the number 494949 to chat with our team or visit RemedyLIVE.com/chat anytime, day or night.
Did someone send you this post, and you want to subscribe to our free self care guide? Text CARE to 494949 to receive daily posts.
