Frenemy
My momma taught me to be an achiever. My dad pushed my siblings and me to excellence. I grew up with the “You’re a (insert last name here), we only get top grades.” I carried that mentality for years - that I had to do the best and be the best. I never thought it made me competitive, only a driven person.
But I quickly found that when someone else could beat me, receive higher praise, or outshine me, I was indeed competitive. In all the wrong ways. Instead of seeing someone with a similar drive as healthy competition, I saw them as an enemy. That’s exactly what happened the day I met Kendra. Ooo, I didn’t like her. I was never musical or athletic, so I prided myself on being organized and efficient. I could run an event more smoothly than anyone. I could plan a meeting so efficiently you wouldn’t want it to be an email.
But Kendra walked into class one day with her color-coded planner and became an instant enemy. She was beautiful, well-spoken, and as organized as me. More-so. I instantly wanted to beat her. I felt I had to prove that I was better and that she couldn’t replace me. It was a month before a teacher approached me and said six words that changed my life. “Imagine what you could accomplish together,” he said.
We were assigned to work on a theatre show in tandem. His words stuck with me, and I changed my mentality (as best as I could). I was kind, considerate, and tried to see this as an opportunity. So Kendra and I began working together. We instantly found where she shined and where I shined. Turns out, they were in different areas. Similar, but different. She had a more artistic mind. I was more prone to lead. Our talents complimented each other to a point that everyone around us noticed. We were a powerhouse. An unstoppable force. We got to a point where we could both do the same work equally well. It led us to opportunities we never imagined and a friendship that has lasted years.
To this day, there are times where I still feel threatened by the skills of others. Still feel small compared to the talent around me. But I’ve learned there are no enemies, only opportunities. People will be better at things than me. That’s an undeniable fact. But together, people can move mountains instead of destroying them. Everyone has a specific skill set and a unique way of seeing the world around them.
If you’re in school, maybe there’s someone you feel threatened by. Perhaps there’s a colleague at work who continually outshines you. Look for opportunities to work alongside them. Keep an eye out for ways that your skillset could complement theirs. Not to beat them, but to create amazing things - together. Who knows, perhaps you’ll take over the company together. Perhaps you’ll be the top of your class. The opportunity is out there.
Challenges/Points:
It’s easy to feel threatened by the talent of others, but unnecessary.
Your competition makes you better, but camaraderie could make you unstoppable.
Find 1 way today that you can uplift a frenemy (friend who is also a healthy rival).
Questions:
If you look around your classroom or workplace, do you consider anyone to be your competition?
If so, are you out to beat them or out to work better with them?
Has the mentality to be the best been drilled into you? How can you make that mentality work to benefit those around you?
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