Relational Rhythms of Rest
Most of us have many different kinds of people or friends we know who represent a vast array of personalities, habits, and unique characteristics. Perhaps you have that one friend you know you can call on when things in your life are really challenging. You know they can be counted on to show up, offer support, and lend a listening ear or a helpful hand. At other times, you may be looking for that friend you love having a good time with - they know how to make you laugh, are up for any adventure, and their personal energy seems to rub off and energize you. Maybe for some, this is the same friend in both circumstances, but often for others, it could be there is more than one person who fills these relational needs in your life.
Take a moment and think about how this applies to your own personal requirements for feeling rested. Is there someone in your life that you enjoy spending those down moments with? These are the times when you don’t have a lot to give, but want to enjoy just being present in the moment, resting, and feeling peaceful. For me, my husband is who I like to be around when I’m feeling like that. We have similar rhythms of rest and we are both okay, just being quiet together or giving each space when it is needed. We happily spend our vacations together balancing this very well. We might find a high energy activity to participate in during the day, but then leave our evenings for just relaxing and being able to recuperate. Recognizing each other’s resting needs has made life feel balanced and both of us feel like our needs are being met in that way.
However, I also have a friend who is completely the opposite of her husband in that area. He feels more of the drive to fill life with constant activity and people, where she would be more content just to stay at home or do more low key activities at times. They also find ways to make this work for them. They make compromises when they can and give each other’s ways consideration by taking turns engaging in both the high and low energy activities that each enjoys. Also, they each have their own friends who can also fill their individual needs and might be a better fit to what their personalities desire at certain times. These are the times when it is so helpful to know the resting rhythms of your friends and who matches you well, so you can find yourself being refreshed instead of constantly drained.
Life requires much of us, knowing your own ideal resting rhythm and matching that up with those who have similar needs in life can really be beneficial in creating healthy patterns and habits. Realizing who in your life brings energy when it’s needed, as well as those who might be a better fit for peace and calm can contribute to your overall well being in many helpful ways.
Challenges/Points:
Knowing your own resting rhythms and those who you are close to can lead to greater fulfillment and peace in your own life.
Certain friends or relatives may bring different kinds of energy or calm related to how they best handle life and it is helpful to know who lines up well with your own needs.
If your own resting rhythms start to feel off balance, try looking at who you are spending time with and discern if you are focusing more on what they need or what you need. Figure out a way to compromise, if needed, to bring a greater sense of balance.
Questions:
Who is someone in your life who matches your energy and personality well and compliments your own resting rhythm?
How can knowing what friendships bring us constant energy and what ones make room for relaxation and down time bring us a better understanding of ourselves and our own needs?
Why is it important to have friends who allow us to rest as well as friends who encourage us to push our limits at times? How do you balance these kinds of relationships in your own life?
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