Therapists generally agree that to hold space for someone means to be completely present for someone, putting your focus on them to support them while they feel their emotions. There is no emphasis on problem solving or “fixing” in holding space. It is more about “being with” than anything else. If you’ve ever experienced good therapy, then you’ll know the value that can be found in having a safe space where you feel comfortable communicating whatever it is that you need, think, or feel. That space is created and “held” by someone, usually the therapist. But this is also an important skill for friends, parents, caretakers, medical professionals, and many others to learn.

It’s tempting to fall prey to the idea that it’s good to surround yourselves only with people who look like you, agree with your beliefs or your religion, or are in the same financial bracket as you, etc. That can feel good at first because it’s so easy. We like to see ourselves reflected in others, to have what we already think affirmed or find that we share interests or opinions with someone else. These are all natural ways of bonding. The trouble starts when we begin to exclude anyone who falls outside those cozy formulas.