Different Voices
“Opinion is really the lowest form of human knowledge. It requires no accountability, no understanding. The highest form of knowledge… is empathy, for it requires us to suspend our egos and live in another’s world.” — Bill Bullard
When’s the last time you heard a full choir perform? I mean a FULL choir. Soprano, alto, tenor, and bass. Although I’m not particularly talented when it comes to the vocal arts (I can hold my own just enough to sing in public without hanging my head), I have always found listening to a full choir to be a moving experience. Often my favorite pieces of music feature a choir and use the human voice to bring greater emotion and meaning to the work. What makes a choir work is the fact that it’s a blending of different voices that sing at a different pitch. If everyone in a choir had voices that sounded the same, think how flat and uninspiring that would sound! There would be no dimension, no contrast.
The same can be said for relationships. It’s tempting to fall prey to the idea that it’s good to surround yourselves only with people who look like you, agree with your beliefs or your religion, or are in the same financial bracket as you, etc. That can feel good at first because it’s so easy. We like to see ourselves reflected in others, to have what we already think affirmed or find that we share interests or opinions with someone else. These are all natural ways of bonding. The trouble starts when we begin to exclude anyone who falls outside those cozy formulas.
Whether in a more extreme form like expressing racism or a more subtle form like avoiding someone due to their gender or age difference, beginning to selectively surround ourselves isn’t healthy. We need voices different from our own and opinions that will challenge us. Of course, be selective about who your closest friends are, but take a look at your general circle. Is it diverse?
“Theory of mind” is the term that’s used to describe the skill of being able to imagine and understand what someone else might be experiencing, feeling, or thinking. The opposite of that is egocentrism. Egocentrism doesn’t consider the different way that someone else might experience something. When we limit ourselves to interacting with people just like us, we limit our ability to grow in empathy and practice theory of mind (Sahal, 2021). A city development project for a new park might be exciting to most of the city’s residents, but for homeless individuals, that same project will destroy one of the safest, quietest corners of the city where they’ve found they can stay. Only those who take the time to see and hear others, all sorts of others, will be able to experience and navigate the true complexity of the world. Just as in a choir, there is value in a variety of voices.
Reference: Sahal, S. (2021). Why does every voice matter? The importance of hearing different perspectives. Medium. Retrieved from https://medium.com/curious/why-does-every-voice-matter-the-importance-of-hearing-different-perspectives-eeba740955ab.
Challenges/Points:
A choir, like life, is full of different types of voices.
“Theory of Mind” is the ability to imagine what someone else might be experiencing, feeling, or thinking. It is what allows us to get “outside” of ourselves and put ourselves in someone else’s shoes.
Egocentrism is the inability to relate to others. It only sees one perspective: it’s own.
Questions:
How much diversity is there currently in your circle of friends, family, or neighbors? Don’t forget to consider neuro-diversity (autism spectrum, ADHD, etc.).
Is there anyone you can reach out to this week to begin broadening the diversity of your connections?
Which do you think you tend to practice more easily, theory of mind or egocentrism?
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