I Quit
In the living room, my daughter slammed her hands against the keys of the electronic piano we’d purchased for her to practice on while I tried to blow off steam in the kitchen. Let’s be honest: neither strategy was working. It was Thursday, and I’d lost count how many times my daughter and I had already butted heads over these practice times. Initially, the piano lessons, taken in the home of a family friend, were new and delightful. She proudly plunked out her songs at a small holiday recital for a bunch of aunts, uncles, and grandparents. And then… it got harder.
When the newness wore off and the lessons actually started to get challenging, my daughter dug in her heels. I tried multiple strategies. Rewards and incentives, sitting with her for the entire practice, not sitting with her for the entire practice, expressing my own frustration about her attitude, amping up my patience. None of it changed the fact that every time I told her she needed to sit down to do piano practice, her response was, “I don’t want to do this. I don’t like it.”
My brain spun. How much say should I give her in this? Should I let her quit? Tell her quitting isn’t an option? What do I do here?
Eventually, we had a long talk after I’d had my own long talk with my husband to help get my head on straight. I wanted her to keep taking piano lessons because I’d never had the stability in my own childhood to do tha,t but I knew that wasn’t a good enough reason to continue. If she didn’t love playing the piano herself, then the most important lesson she could probably learn was that it’s okay to quit certain things. So we let her quit.
Author Eric Barker says, “If I never quit anything, I’d still be playing tee-ball and playing with Transformers!” Learning what to quit and when is an important part of maturing, but it takes facing the fear of the unknown. Most of us would rather stick with what we know, even if it does make us a little miserable, than walk away from it, as Elsa sang, “into the unknown!”
Instead of thinking about quitting as a hard stop, think of it as a pivot into a new direction. You simply replace one focus or goal that wasn’t working with a new one. History is full of people who tried something, found it didn’t work, and then went on to find success and meaningful work in a totally different field (Ruggeri, 2017).
Here’s a few signs that it may be time for you to consider quitting something (Pinola, 2012).
You’re frustrated about it most of the time.
You can’t imagine continuing.
It has a negative effect on your mental, emotional, or physical health.
A trusted friend or adult has asked you about the option of quitting.
References:
Ruggeri, A. (2017). Why you sometimes have to quit to win. BBC. Retrieved from https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20171128-why-you-sometimes-have-to-quit-to-win.
Pinola, M. (2012). How to know when it’s time to quit. LifeHacker. Retrieved from https://lifehacker.com/how-to-know-when-its-time-to-quit-5948908.
Challenges/Points:
Sometimes we’re raised to believe that we should never quit anything.
Knowing when to quit something is an important life skill.
Every good thing you do in life requires quitting something else.
Questions:
How do you feel about quitting?
Have you ever quit something?
Is there something you’d like to quit right now but aren’t sure if you can?
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