Sexual Abuse
Did you know that here in America 1 in 3 women and 1 in 4 men will experience sexual violence at some point during the course of their life? The National Institute of Health believes that number is actually higher since in reality, many cases of sexual abuse go unreported due to the shame and fear that survivors often experience.
It’s important to identify what sexual abuse is as there are those who don’t realize what they’ve experienced. According to Psychology Today, “Sexual abuse is any sexual activity that occurs without consent. Also referred to as sexual assault or sexual violence, it includes unwanted sexual touching, forced oral sex, and rape, among other sexual acts. No matter which act occurs, it’s not the survivor’s fault that they were assaulted” (Sexual Abuse, n.d.).
That last part is important to let sink in, especially if you were raised like me hearing things such as, “Well if she was dressed like that, I’d say she was asking for it.” Here’s the deal: no one is asking to be sexually assaulted. Ever. No matter how they are dressed. Sexual abuse is 100% about power and using people. It’s degrading and ignores the shared humanity between us all. The person being abused can never be held responsible for the abuse.
Among women who experience sexual abuse, 94% from one study reported that they were coping with the symptoms of PTSD (and those symptoms included flashbacks, insomnia, hypervigilance, and avoidance). These same women also reported that they were dealing with anger, anxiety, and depression. Thankfully there are also studies that show that up to 90% of survivors recover given enough time (Sexual Abuse, n.d.).
If you think that someone you know and love may be secretly dealing with sexual abuse, the most loving thing you can probably do is ask them (confidentially) and promise that you are here to help if they need it. Signs that an adult might have experienced sexual abuse can include anxiety about things that didn’t used to make them anxious, avoiding certain people or places, depression, low self-esteem, disrupted sleep or nightmares, self-harming behavior, suicidal thoughts, or new sexually transmitted infections (Sexual Abuse, n.d.).
An adult should always be involved if a minor has or is currently experiencing sexual abuse, no matter who it is from. It can be very scary to tell the truth but doing so may not only protect you, it may protect others as well and get the abuser the help they need to stop abusing. Mental health professionals such as licensed therapists who specialize in working with men and women who have experienced sexual abuse can be a tremendous help in these situations.
Lastly, the most important thing you can do for a friend trying to heal from sexual abuse is to listen and validate their feelings or experience. They will probably need more support than usual to do things most of us wouldn’t think twice about, and that’s okay. Show up for them and keep showing up. They need to know they can trust you.
The National Sexual Assault Hotline is 1-800-656-4673. This number may be called 24/7 for support.
Reference: Sexual Abuse. (n.d.). Psychology Today. Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/sexual-abuse.
Challenges/Points:
1 in 3 women and 1 in 4 men in America will experience sexual abuse at some point in their lifetime.
Sexual abuse is any form of sexual interaction that is unwanted or undesired. This includes everything from sexual forms of touching to rape.
If you’ve experienced sexual abuse or know someone who has, please consider or encourage them to speak with a licensed professional familiar with these situations.
Questions:
Have you experienced or do you know anyone who has experienced sexual abuse?
Has anything ever happened to you that made you wonder whether or not it was sexually abusive?
Who is an adult you could trust to talk to about this if something ever did happen?
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