Best Enemies
Years back, I decided I had an enemy. I didn’t like her because she had all the talents that I wanted. We didn’t see each other often, but every time our paths crossed, my spine bristled. When she was around, I felt worthless, and I hated her for that. It was like she deliberately tried to point out every single one of my weaknesses.
Fast forward several years. I didn’t want her around, but she kept appearing. Online, in memory, in person, in random connection with people I knew. It felt like our lives were linked, and it annoyed me. She bothered me, like an ant crawling up my leg.
The image I created for her started to have an element of control over me. I used it to beat myself down. I was always a little nervous she would resurface. This affected me, not deeply or frequently, but with a certain regularity, and the little annoyances added up.
Whenever I was around her, I felt compelled to act like her and directly compare myself to her. But why? If I tried to be HER, I didn’t stand a chance. Did I even really want that? Honestly? No. Then why did I lie to myself? When I thought about it, the thing that made me most jealous was her ability to be HERSELF. Huh. That was it. I didn’t want to be HER, I wanted to be myself, and I didn’t know how.
She would always be my enemy until I changed because the real enemy was my own jealousy. It had nothing to do with her. She just happened to be in the mix. In fact, she seemed like a decent person. Maybe our paths kept crossing because I needed to learn this lesson. Maybe I could learn something from her, and we would be stronger as allies than enemies.
After that, I changed my focus. Instead of using our interactions to beat myself down, I let them propel me upward. Instead of focusing on all the areas she was better than me, I started admiring her ability to be herself without caring what other people thought. Instead of mimicking her, I put my time and energy into developing my own strengths. And it worked.
That was an important lesson for me: Most things in life can either beat us down or help us grow. Very often, our response is more important than the situation itself. At the end of the day, we can only change ourselves. And that is enough.
Challenges/Points:
Sometimes we come across people we don’t like because we are jealous.
Maybe we need those people to help us learn lessons we don’t exactly want to learn.
Our response to situations determines whether we are beaten down or whether we grow.
Questions:
Are there people in your life you don’t like because you feel like you don’t meet up to their standards? Maybe you feel you aren’t as talented or attractive as them?
Does this feeling build you up or knock you down?
Have you tried focusing on your own amazing qualities instead of trying to imitate them?
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