Grief

The past is the past! But how much we let the past affect us is the question! Every incident in our lives leaves a mark on us—emotionally, physically, mentally. How deep the mark depends on the problem. Job loss. Family loss. Financial loss. Loss of health. Notice that I said “loss” in each of these cases.  Whatever the cause, the result can be the same—grief or even depression. Grief is sadness; however, depression is much heavier.

Depression is a sneaky thing…hiding itself under many shapes. Loss of appetite. Not wanting to be around other people. Shame. Lack of energy. Crying for no apparent reason anytime or anyplace. The biggest problem with depression is trying to ignore it or hide it.

Shame for these feelings can be brought on by other people’s comments: “Buck up! You can do this. You can tough this out.” These are lies that can lead us to thinking “I am the only one feeling this way. I should be able to handle this by myself.” Remember the saying, “No man is an island”? That is so true as has been proved by the last couple of years spent in isolation. We need each other to stay healthy…to realize that we are not the only one experiencing such feelings. We don’t have to go through this alone.

If the cause is loss of job, there are state and local offices that can help you find a job. Online searches are always an option. Even driving around town right now shows places hiring. ASK! SEEK!

Financial loss? Again there are organizations available to help. Check with a church, financial office, or bank, for advice.

I need to let you know, too, that some griefs can take years to go away. After losing my husband four years ago, I went back to work within a month. My fellow workers were very appreciative of my sorrow, but some felt that after a year went by, I should be “over it”!  Grief caused by the loss of a loved one doesn’t work that way. How long it lasts or the form it can evolve into depends on the person, but it does lessen, and there is help to guide us.

Our reaction to the cause of any grief/depression is also a BIG factor. Trying to rationalize many of our feelings will not change them. It may work for a period of time, but then spring back on us in an even worse way.  If your depression gets too bad, please seek professional help. There is no shame in that.

Our part to play in our healing:  Ask for help. Talk to a friend or trusted person about your concerns, your feelings, your fears. Sometimes, medication can help.

Whatever you do, please remember you are NOT ALONE!

Challenges/Points:

• There is no shame in feelings of grief/depression.

• Grief/depression does not have to last.

• YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Ask for help.

Questions:

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