Date Yourself
My hands wrapped around the warm mug of tea as I lifted it to my lips. A tender sip revealed it was still too hot to drink. I stirred the liquid with the little wooden stick the cafe had given me and listened absentmindedly to the chatter and buzz of the people around me. An older gentleman with a young boy played a game of checkers at a table in the corner. From behind the closed doors of the reservable meeting room, I could hear excited tones and laughter that indicated what must have been a very good meeting. Several men and women tapped away privately at their laptops. One young woman appeared to be drawing on a screen.
I was on a date. With myself.
Before you write me off as crazy, let me explain. I’ve believed in taking myself on dates since I was a child, but back then, I didn’t know that was what I was doing. I’d just wander off into the backyard and imagine whatever world I wished to conjure, or I’d sit down at the word processor in my bedroom and spend hours typing out stories that begged to be set free. I’ve always loved my own company best. I don’t think anyone would want to be alone forever, but a glorious patch of time to bask in however I want is my idea of heaven. Now that I’m an adult, I try to plan dates for myself periodically. This might be a one hour massage or an afternoon spent hiking by myself. Sometimes it looks like a trip to a local coffee shop by myself to people watch and work on an article I’m writing. Or it can be a few hours of shopping, giving myself the time to find exactly what I’m looking for.
Whatever you call it, when you decide to spend time with yourself, it also makes the statement that you like yourself. Being able to enjoy and even choose being alone is an incredibly attractive trait. When you enjoy your own company, it means that spending time with others is something you truly choose to do, you don’t fall into the trap of spending time with others as a way to simply avoid being alone.
Here are some ideas for dates you can take by yourself if you want to try it!
Go somewhere in public and just people watch for an hour or so. Public libraries, coffee shops, and the mall are all good spots. You can make quick sketches of people who catch your attention or try to describe select people in one sentence.
Find a new place you’d like to see sometime and plan to visit solo. This can be a restaurant, store, coffee shop, museum, you name it.
Plan a solitary hike in a local park or nature preserve. Pack your lunch so you can eat on the trail. Soak up the silence and embrace nature’s rejuvenating energy.
Spend an afternoon reading by yourself. Or spend it writing letters or “just because” letters to be sent to friends and family.
Go to a concert or a movie by yourself. Buy the popcorn.
Challenges/Points:
Taking yourself on solo “dates” is a great way to practice being comfortable on your own.
When you can enjoy your own company, you start to learn how to choose the company of others you enjoy as well instead of simply using others to avoid being alone.
Exploring new places alone or taking a solo hike are great ways to have a solo date.
Questions:
Have you ever gone on a date by yourself?
What’s one thing you think you might enjoy doing on your own?
Would being alone in a public place bring up any discomfort for you? Why do you think that is?
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