Sabbath Candles
At the table, the mother’s hands passed before her eyes three times. Her children and husband watched in the flickering candlelight as she recited the traditional Sabbath blessing that would officially mark the start of the day of rest, or Sabbath, in all Jewish households. A comforting hush settled on the room. Each member of the family felt the deepening sense of peace they’d come to expect. The mother sat, the ritual complete. Sabbath had come.
In 2013, a study was conducted to test the results of participating in a ritual before eating. The results, published in the National Library of Medicine, found that men and women who participated in a ritual before eating described the food they ate as being more flavorful and enjoyable than those who did not participate in a ritual (Vohs, Wang, & Norton, 2013). This applied not only to chocolate but also to carrots! In order for the effect to be consistent, the ritual could not be random and it could not be merely observed. It had to be faithfully acted out by the individual at dependable places and times (Vohs, Wang, & Norton, 2013).
Rituals are a fantastic way to help us mark time that we would otherwise brush quickly past. It makes sense. We all tend to get caught up in the flow of things, our to do lists, in responding to all the emails, texts, and messages. A ritual is like a sticky note for life. It says, “Remember this!” It could be the hot drink in the morning that helps ease you into the day or the firm but kind handshake you give when meeting someone for the first time professionally.
According to Merriam Webster’s dictionary, “ritual” is defined as a usual manner of behaving or doing. We have rituals we engage in all the time without thinking about them. The key is to harness the power of rituals and use them intentionally. I know a therapist who practices the same centering breath exercise before seeing her clients for the day and a man who always takes his shoes off in church services. Rituals can be as unique and personal as the person who is using them needs them to be. They’re a perfect place to express your creativity!
When it comes to rest, it might be helpful to consider if there are any rituals you (or your family) already observe and then build on that. Does your caretaker always tend to order a pizza on Friday nights? Great! Movie night always seems to happen on Saturday? Brilliant. Your ritual doesn’t have to be a shared thing though. It could also be something private that reminds just you that this time is different. That this is a place where we don’t measure minutes or rush. We just are. And that’s not only enough, it’s exactly what we need. It’s perfect.
Reference: Vohs, J., Wang, F. G., & Norton, M. I. (2013). Rituals Enhance Consumption. Psychological Science, 24(9), 1714-1721.
Challenges/Points:
Choosing a concrete way to mark or separate time can help you observe it.
Rituals gain greater meaning the longer we keep them.
A ritual can be as simple as lighting a candle once a week or as involved as planning a routine trip to see a certain place or spend time with people you love. Other rituals you might try out to help you be mindful of time set aside to rest are taking a bath, going for a walk, playing a certain song or piece of music, eating a certain meal, or turning off all electronic devices.
Questions:
When do you feel the most easily at rest? Is it near a body of water or while listening to an orchestra play a beautiful piece of music?
What are some things you already do without thinking that mark time in your life? Do you put on certain clothes for your job or climb into the same car or bus every day before school?
What is one ritual you can intentionally start this week to help yourself sink deeper into time you’ve set apart for rest?
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